Welcome to my blog :)


Thursday, December 31, 2009


Well, ignore that last post. Dinner came and my husband decided that it was a good idea to order pizza. I don't know exactly how many calories there are in pizza, but I'm SURE I went over 2,000 cal. I did have tea instead of soda, and now I'm drinking water.

On the bright side, I have not had a SINGLE Dr. Pepper today and I'm not going to lie....I've been a bitch. I feel tired, run down, sore, and crappy, but nothing can stop me! I'm going to PROVE to myself and everyone else that I don't NEED food to feel better! I am setting my goal weight at 185 pounds, and I find that at 5'11 that is a realistic weight. I'm no super model and I don't intend to be, I just want to fit into my pants and feel better about myself. Plus, I want to instill good habits in daughter.

I am currently trying very hard to make a grocery list for the week. I'm working on planning every meal so that I know in advance what I need to do. My worst habit for snacking is skipping breakfast, and eating whatever I can find for lunch. Dinner is the only sit down meal we have, and thats only about 4 days a week too. Starting tomorrow, there will be a strict food budget, better snack/meal purchases, and of course...no more soda. If anyone has ANY meal ideas please email them to me at CyanideSarah@live.com. I have no idea how to eat healthy or cook healthy. My entire recipe selection consists of fried chicken and casseroles.

Anyhow--My legs are super mad at me for all the extra yoga I did yesterday. I can barely bend over, but If I stretch it feels better. I'm glad to know its working at least. My workout plan for the 6 week challenge is just to start M-W-F and then add a day the second week, while doing yoga on off days. That way I'm not going beyond my means. If I don't feel like doing yoga on an off day, I won't. I'm not going to force myself into doing it. I am going to force myself to work out at least 3 times a week though. I am hoping that eventually it will become second nature and I will automatically eat better and work out more. Wish me luck.

Peace, Love, and Pizza Regret.
Sarah V.

Cheat Day!

Well, I must admit that I thought my cheat day would be a lot more eventful. I was almost thinking that I'd start my morning with a heaping mound of caffeine and chocolate, followed by a 4 course meal for both lunch and dinner, but that's not quite how it played out. I'm glad that I didn't go crazy on my cheat day, because that means I've got a smidgen more self control than I realized!! Hooray.

So far on cheat day I have eaten the following:
3 sugar cookies=150 cal each.
96% fat free ham and cheese sandwhich w/lettuce, pickles, and mayo=390 cal.
A small Pals "frenchie fries"=370 cal. (OUCH!)
A sweet tea=160 cal.

So as of 3:30 p.m. my daily calorie count is up to...*drum roll please* =1,370 calories.
That means I have 630 calories before I even meet my 2,000 cal. a day! Obviously, this means I'm going to have to eat a smart supper and enjoy one last Dr. Pepper...(which counts for 200 calories!) Hmmm, I'm thinking Lean Cuisine for supper sounds pretty good.

Now lets just hope I can hold off on the snacking for tonight so that I don't end up eating 3,000+....

The more that I think about it, today's not much of a cheat day at all! However, since Its not one of my work out days, I am still going to try to be a little bit better. I'm not sure how I am going to give up fast food and soda. That stuff is a seriously delicious, unhealthy, horrible, no good for me, bloat making, pants shrinking, delicious, delicious, habit. I think I will try to cut out fast food cold turkey, but the soda may take a little work. I WILL NOT be keeping it in the house anymore though, so that will help immensely, as will not eating fast food.

I hope everyone else is enjoying THEIR cheat day and not going *too* crazy.

Peace, Love, and Sore muscles.
Sarah V.

P.s. Join our group on facebook! contact me for details on how at

The 6 week challenge begins at 9 a.m. tomorrow.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Woah, Jenny.

Today was a pretty crappy day all around. I went to bed late, and woke up at 5 am to our car horn randomly spazzing out. Of course, that waking up the entire neighborhood wasn't the best way to start the day. It took 3 people to get the horn to stop. Luckily, the baby slept through it all! After all that, I woke up at 9 feeling like absolute garbage. I hadn't had enough sleep to let me muscles recuperate from my previous workout so I was feeling a bit stiff. I spent most of the day lounging around the house in my pajamas, not wanting to go anywhere or accomplish anything.

Luckily, after I checked the mail, I did finally get dressed. We ended up having to run to walmart for some much needed household items. The entire time I was gone I kept thinking about how I needed to do my workout before I lost ALL motivation to. Once we got back to the house, I immediately put on my workout clothes and once again loaded up my game. Staring at the game always makes me want to do it just a little bit more than thinking about it does.

Last time I tried to work out, Emma kept running around my feet and getting mad that I wasn't paying attention to her. I ended up having Andrew take her to her room to play so that I could get my work out done without upsetting her. I'm just glad he doesn't work until later tonight! *Phew.*

Well, after all of that running around I finally got to start my work out. I was told that last time I did so well they wanted to challenge me a little more. Say WHAT?! I was challenged last time, I was barely able to do the exercises they threw at me then, and now they want to make them harder? I decided I'd at least give it a shot, but quickly realized that I couldn't bend or contort my body the way they wanted me to at ALL! I wound up doing 3 workouts today for that very reason.

I attempted the mom fitness routine, which wasn't too bad. It was generally the same things that I usually do for full body weight loss/calorie burning. I was okay with that, but then I switched to working out my abs. I was honestly expecting to do some sit ups, bends, and things of that nature. Well, Jenny had me doing high kicks, dancer moves, and all these weird stretching exercises that I just wasn't capable of. I'm not the most flexible person in the world, but as usual I tried. I wound up quitting exercise routine #2 halfway through. I only managed to burn 72 calories there. I felt a little discouraged, so I finished my workout with a 15 minute yoga routine. Overall, I still did my half hour workout, and I still burned a decent amount of calories.

Todays stats are as follows:

Workout time: 30 minutes
Routines tried: 3
Total Calories Burned: 237 + 15 minute yoga routine

I wish I could say I did better, but I tried and that's all that matters. I am beginning my 6 week fitness challenge on January 1st for anyone who is interested. For now, I am just getting the hang of being back in the work out world. It hurts soooo gooood.

Peace, Love, and Yoga
Sarah V.


Healthy eating is supposed to be a staple of weight loss. If you eat right and work out then the experts all say that the pounds will just 'melt away.' The problem is that if you work full time, go to school full time, do BOTH full time, or even if you're just a stay at home mom who has one too many responsibilities already on your shoulders, you don't have time to look into all the 'healthy alternatives.'

Today, I made a mistake. I ate a Mexican frozen dinner. First of all, I only ate the burrito, which means I left the re-fried beans, rice, and hot sauce for the trash can to devour. Secondly, that one t.v. dinner had SIX HUNDRED calories in it. I about fainted when I saw that. Usually, one workout for me burns 300 calories in 30 minutes. I will have to work out for an entire hour just to burn off lunch. Unfortunately, I have so much running around to do today, that I only have time for one work out. I'm a little disappointed in that, but I did make the smarter choice and drink water with my gross t.v. dinner...At least there were no extra calories added there. (Random fact: When calorie counting, almost no one remembers to include their drink calories. They also count as part of your 2,000 cal a day plan! Don't forget!)

So--my goal is to try and eat better. I plan on making a good grocery list, eating before I go shopping so I don't impulse buy, avoiding snack food aisles, and after today....no longer keeping ANY Dr. Pepper in the house. I am going to do my best to stick to water, milk, and juices...with the occasional sweet tea for dinner. Wish me luck. I know I'll need it. After all, I'm a Dr. Pepper addict.

Peace, Love, and A Healthy New Year
Sarah V.

P.s. If anyone has any good recipes to send me for healthier snacks or meals feel free to do so at Savanord@live.com. Be sure the subject line reads: Recipe.

Watch out for my workout review later today.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

The Proof Is In The Pictures...

Before Baby!!
August 2007.

Top: 36 weeks                                             Bottom: Induction Day (October 08)

October 16, 2009
One year, 2 days after having baby. I was doing sooo well....and then the holidays hit, and I fell off the wagon!

Ew!! After baby body. You will note the saggy tummy, which is my main reason for starting the workout routine anyways!! I also am trying to slim my thighs. Those are the 2 places that the bulk of my 'pregnancy' weight went too.

*Feels awkward posting body pictures while not hiding under hoodie/baggy clothes*

Wish me luck. Starting January first, I'm making some real changes!
(Including, but not limited to:)
*Working out more!

*Eating less take out or fast food

*Buying healthier groceries to keep in the house

*Doing more outdoors activities

*Cutting Back on Dr. Peppers.

*Spending less time in front of the computer/wii/xbox 360
 & more time playing with Emma, going outside, coloring, etc.

*Catching up with old friends!

*Being wiser about my spending habits.

I will post more as time goes on.
Peace, Love, and Bottled Water!!

Monday, December 28, 2009

Day Three

Hello fellow blogsters,

Today was day three of my Wii workout using Your Shape by Ubisoft. I would like to first point out to everyone that today I had absolutely zero motivation to work out. I had a really crummy day, and I was in a pretty awful mood, but I did it anyways. What really helped me was that I turned on the Wii, and had Your Shape loaded and ready to go. That way, even though I wasn't motivated I had to see it every time I walked by the television screen. Eventually, I went and got into my work out clothes. My daughter wasn't quite ready for her nap, and it was about half an hour until lunch time so I decided to put her baby gate up and let her play in the playroom while I did my work out. Don't worry, her room is directly behind the living room, so I could see her poke her head out and laugh at me. I told her mommy was "dancing," because she doesn't understand working out yet as she's only 14 1/2 months old. So of course, being the little ham she is, she decided to start "dancing" too! That really made my day, so I went ahead and kept going with my workout. I mean, if my 14 month old can do it, so can I. Of course, my workout was a little more difficult than dancing.

I suppose I'll stop talking about my personal life, and get  back to work out talk! UGH. Okay, so to start with I had to do a bunch of exercises that were totally foreign to me. I watched the screen and picked up on all but one fairly quickly. The one I had a little trouble with was called the grapevine, but after a few tries I picked up on it. Todays workout focused on full body weight loss, rather than one problem area. It seemed like I did a lot of arm and leg work though, which is good because I need to say goodbye to the mom flab arms!

After the first 15 minutes, my workout was assessed and the exercises changed to something a little bit more challenging, but more in my own range. I thought that was really awesome. The routines were evaluated and changed twice in my 30 minute routine so I wasn't doing the same mindless exercises over and over...and over...and over. All in all, I'd say today was a good day. I wish I could be a little more specific in details today, but there really aren't a lot of details to be shared. Plus, to be quite honest with you my arms are KILLING me. (That means it's working, right?!)

Todays Stats are as follows:
Workout Time: 30 minutes
Calories Burned: 305
Workout Equivalent To: 1.78 miles run
Lifted 1500 lbs worth of my own weight. (Don't ask what that means, they just happened to inform me of it after my workout was over.)

Oh, and also I purchased a scale yesterday from Kmart and it's broken! I have to return it at some point this week, but next blog I will be sure to tell you my current weight. *Gulp.* After the 7 day workout routine mark, I will also add a photo of before I began working out and one after my first week. I'm sure there won't be a huge difference, but look for a photo at the end of every workout week!! Let's keep our fingers crossed, because this mommy wants to lose her 'mom-body' and get back into her 'I'm-only-23-years-old, and-I-should-still-have-at-least-another-ten-years-to-look-this-good-body.

Days Until I Have To Kick My 3+ A Day Dr. Pepper Habit:


Saturday, December 26, 2009

Yoga, Yoga, Yoga!

Today I was feeling especially lazy. I had spent my evening playing Xbox 360 with my husband and our friends, and I may have had a handful or two of turtle chex mix. On top of that we went to McDoanlds for lunch, so I was feeling gross and a little down about my days poor eating habits.

My husband works late on Saturdays, so I thought what better way to kill some boredom, utilize my time, and feel better about myself than getting out the Your Shape game and doing a quick workout? The problem I encounter here is that my living room is hardwood flooring, and my daughters bedroom is behind the thin living room walls. I couldn't be loud, so I knew a good cardio workout was out of the question. To be frank, most of the other workouts were out of the question, because any time you move on a hardwood floor it makes a lot of noise. I went through my Your Shape special challenges and chose the relax your body option. That may not be the exact term that they used, but it's fairly close. It's a yoga workout.

I will be the first one to tell you that I am not flexible in any way, shape, or form. I'm lucky that I can bend over enough to tie my shoes, and having a baby didn't help that any. However, I decided to give it a shot. I had begun a workout once before and had to quit in the middle of it, so I at least knew a little bit of what I was getting myself into.

For being a beginner when it comes to yoga, I found my workout was absolutely perfect. I felt like the moves were easy, and yet I was getting an actual workout, as my sweaty workout clothes will prove. I watched Jenny on screen and she showed me how to properly do the moves. I did them until my body matched hers, or until the screen told me what a fantastic, wonderful, great job I was doing. It's always nice to have that little ego boost when you don't feel confident about what you're doing. The workout was half an hour long, which I actually didn't realize when I began doing it. It was only after I finished and looked at the clock did I realize it was a 30 minute work out. However, I feel great about myself, and I burned over 300 calories! Hooray!

I'm pretty excited about the Your Shape workout. I've had a lot of friends rush out and buy Wii Fit only to tell me they were disappointed, or bored with it right away. I have also heard negative comments about EA Active being more of a game than a workout. The best part of Your Shape is that you don't have to use a Wii controller at all. The camera records your moves, and follows what you're doing-controller free! That's my absolute favorite part. I don't have to strap anything to myself, or make sure I'm holding a Wii-mote the right way while I'm also trying to concentrate on my work out!!

Overall, I loved the yoga routine. I think that with time I will become more flexible, and hopefully I'll be able to get better at it. I can always watch the tutorials on how to improve my postures as well. All in all, I'm just amazed that I was motivated enough to do 2 workouts in a row. Now I have to rest, so that I can start my regular workout routine on Monday.
((My new routine will be workouts on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.))

I will be sure to keep writing, as long as you keep reading. This ends day 2 of my six week challenge. Time to hit the showers!!

Friday, December 25, 2009

My First Wii Workout.

Merry Christmas!
Today, I will be chronicling for you, my experience with the Your Shape workout game on the Wii console.

*DAY 1*

Today was the last first day of my all new workout routine! I opened up my Your Shape box and was immediately greeted by Jenny McCarthy's smiling face. Sometimes when I look at her, I simply cannot believe that she's a mother like I am, and yet has such an amazing body. Now, Do I think that she got it using Your Shape for the Wii console? Not hardly. I am well aware that she has probably got a staff of nutritionists, personal trainers, and plastic surgeons helping her look that good, but it was still nice to see a familiar face smiling up at me.

Upon opening my Your Shape box, I discovered that the only two items inside were a Wii disc and a digital camera. The size of the box seems like it's overdone for so few minimal items, but I shrugged it off and inserted the Your Shape disc into my console. Once I loaded up my screen, I was once again greeted by Jenny McCarthy and a lengthy tutorial. I was hoping that I could skip it the first time through, and just figure things out for myself, but it seems that's not a possibility for round one your first time through. So, I sat there and listened closely as Jenny stood inside some sort of living room set up and discussed the game with me.

After sitting through Jenny's explanation of the game, I was more than ready to dive in. The first thing I was told to do was obviously hook up the web cam. This sounds difficult, but I promise it isn't. The webcam hooks up via USB port, and is immediately ready to go. I hooked up my camera, and found a place for it on top of my television where it was able to visibly see all of me. I took a step back, and saw myself on screen. It was a little awkward at first, but if you've ever been on a pc webcam before, that's exactly what it's like.

Upon completion of my camera setup, I went ahead and created a new profile. I named it Sarah, because hi, that's my name! I listened to Jenny a few more times, and was then told I needed to have my body scanned. Now, this isn't as hard, or as awesome as it sounds. Simply put, there are two silhouettes that appear on screen, and you are to step into them. The camera then scans your body using the silhouette as a basic guide. The concept is amazing, but it could have been done maybe a little differently. I'm not complaining though, I love this workout disc so far!

Okay, now that my camera is set up, my body has been scanned, and I've created a profile (including my name, age, gender, and *gulp* weight,) we can begin our first 'routine.'  The first routine is set up using fairly simple exercises. This routine is graded, and teaches you immediately what your strengths, weaknesses, best, and worst exercises are. You begin with simple things like walking in place, marching in place, or even doing jumping jacks. My highest percentage was in cardio training, which means that's what I do best. My overall grade for my first routine was a B. I did better than I expected, but am still disappointed in my individual work out scores. Don't worry, at least I know now what it is I need to work on!

I did go ahead and do 2 more workouts, including their "destress your mind" yoga workout, which requires insane flexibility, and I feel great about myself!! I ate a little more regularly today, and I worked out a grand total of 3 times. The calorie counter at the top of my screen told me I burned around 300 calories today. I know that it doesn't sound like much, but please keep in mind I'm a beginner doing moderate exercises for the first time in 2 years. You can always change your settings to match yourself personally! I hope you have enjoyed the ranting, ramblings of my first day using Your Shape. I apologize for the scatter brained post, but after all...It's Christmas Night and I am online sharing it with YOU!

Peace, Love, and Embracing Changes-

P.s. Please be sure to share your experiences. Lets see how things are looking by week 6! Tomorrow I will be picking up a new scale, so that I can more accurately follow my progress. I will post photographs in the following weeks. Thanks for sticking with me today with my first workout, my first blog post, and my first incoherent ramblings. I promise things will improve. EMBRACE IT!!

Embracing Change

Today, I was made aware of an obsession I have. It was a self awareness, but an awareness none the less. You see, after having my daughter 15 months ago, I began an unhealthy obsession with my weight.

Weight was the only thing I talked about. Weight loss was the only thing on my mind. Every time my stomach growled, I furrowed my brow in anger and frustration. Things had finally gotten to the point that I was taking photographs of myself in the mirror, and asking my friends if they thought I "looked fat" in them. Of course, I know some women are like that and are just seeking encouragement from their friends, but that wasn't why I was doing it. I felt I needed validation. I needed to know that I was losing some weight, even if it was just enough to be noticeable. I desperately needed to hear people tell me that I was looking a lot thinner. What no one knew, was in those pictures most of the time I was holding in my stomach. Recently, I quit doing that and a few of my friends got the honor of seeing what was left of my "mom" stomach in all it's glory.

As much as I hate to admit it, all of 2009 was spent with me obsessing over my weight gain, and loss after my first successful pregnancy. The added stress of a move to a new city, a husband needed to find new work, and moving back in with my father in law, made it seem easy to lose weight. Unfortunately, I wasn't going about it in a healthy manner at all.

The first week after my daughter was born I lost 30 pounds of pure water weight. I had been on bedrest for pre-eclampsya and high blood pressure, and had swelled to a grand total of 262 pounds. I was excited that the first thirty pounds just melted off of me, but I knew that I had to lose another 40 pounds before I would be my pre-pregnancy weight. Over the following 8 months, I did in fact lose that last forty pounds, by not eating. I rarely, if ever worked out. I cried when I looked into the mirror and saw the same person I once was staring back at me with that fresh new 'mom tummy.' I even bought clothes two sizes too big, even after having lost weight just so that I could hide what was left over.

I feel like I'm learning to love myself all over again, in a completly new way. I was shocked and taken aback by just how easy it was for me to slip into an unhealthy weight loss pattern. Stop eating. Get thin. Begin eating. Get fat. Repeat.

A few days before Christmas day (2009), I had a realization. I looked at myself in the mirror, dead on and began chanting to myself. I realized that I needed to work on who I was as a person, not only physically but also mentally and emotionally. I learned that I needed to be okay with myself based on my personality and not my looks. Most importantly, I learned that I was on a slippery slope heading no where fast-if I didn't get myself under control.

So once again, I looked into the mirror and I chanted to myself. If you're wondering what it was I said, I couldn't tell you. I know that I was telling myself only positive things, and I know that I forced myself to go out into public wearing a shirt that fit me, rather than throwing a hoodie on over it or wearing a shirt far too large on me. (To you that may sound like a small step, but isn't that what we all need to start with, baby steps?)

And now, on this day, I look down at the necklace my husband gave me for Christmas that reads "Embrace Change," and I smile, not only at how well he knows me, but at how much strength I know I have. I smile because I am trying now to develop an addiction to exercise rather than anorexia. I am trying to battle who I don't want to be, and let the real person shine through from within. I'm trying to Embrace Change.

This is my story. Day one.