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Friday, April 30, 2010


In true blogger fashion, I have moved my blog over to wordpress. It will now become more of an every day/everything blog. I can't strictly focus on weight loss anymore. It's still a huge part of my life, but ive run out of things to say. If you would like to continue following me, be sure to bookmark my wordpress pages!

http://cyanidestory.wordpress.com/ --arts
http://cyanidesarah.wordpress.com/ --everyday blog

Its been great blogging with you ladies and gentlemen. Please follow me on

I will update and write one last final blog later this week/month.

Peace and Love
Sarah V.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010


I am starting to feel like I did when I was a kid again. When I was 15 and younger, my friends used to joke that I was a bottomless pit. I could eat my weight in anything, and never gain a pound. I was 5'9, 125 lbs, and I thought I'd stay that way forever. Unfortunately, as is the story, I met a boy.

I spent the next 2 years dating this guy off and on. We never went anywhere or did anything to be active. We sat around my house or his eating ramen noodles, playing video games, and drinking at least 2 cases of soda per week. As you can guess, by the time we had broken up I was 2 years older, 45 pounds heavier, and 2 inches taller. It was a real eye opener.

The next few years my weight yo-yo'd all around. I would be fat, then thin. Fat, then thin. The cycle never ended. When I worked, I was thin. When it was warm out, I was thin. Once winter rolled around again I would inevitably put on twenty pounds. I think I gained and lost that same 20 pounds a dozen times or more.

In February of 2007, I found out I was pregnant. I was 5'11, and 190 pounds. I didn't look bad at all, and most people thought I was lying when I said I was 190. Sometimes I would even tell them I was 175 and they would totally believe me. Now I understand why women lie about their age/weight sometimes. Luckily, that isn't who I am anymore.

When I realized I was pregnant, I thought it was a free pass. I ate all I wanted, whenever I wanted, and if I gained weight I just figured that was fine. I never wanted to get as big as I did, and 35 lbs of that was from pre-eclampsia and water weight. Sadly, I did gain my own 40 lbs from eating like a piggy. I think I probably had fast food three times a week when I first found out I was pregnant, because the living situation I was in didn't really allow for us to cook meals at home. (We lived in an RV for a short time while apartment hunting in Florida.) By the time we had moved back to Cookeville, the foods I was eating had improved, but the amount I was eating had not.

In October 2008 I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Regardless of how much I ate she only weighed 6 lbs, 14 oz. She was and still is amazing. I lost 35 pounds of water weight before leaving the hospital 2 days later, and another 15-20 pounds in the few months following her birth. I am now back under my pre baby weight, and yet my body looks like a war zone. I will be fighting for the next year or two in order to find myself again. I need to reclaim my body, and joining weight watchers is exactly what I did to help me achieve that goal. I want to be happy with who I am as a person both inside and out, and I think that i'm taking the proper steps to ensure that happens.

I am down to 3 meals a day, and usually 3 snacks. I take vitamins, drink water, and do some form of movement every day. (Even if its just walking around the house!) I am getting better at working out more, and I'm trying to re-evaluate my meals so I can get in all of my recommended food groups, but its rough. I only have 29 pts to work with, and that makes for a hard time creating meals + snacks. (Feel free to post suggestions.) Really, I'm hoping that the reason I'm constantly hungry all of a sudden, is because my metabolism is working the way it should once again. A girl can dream right?

Peace, Love, and Rambling Blogs
Sarah V.

Sunday, April 25, 2010


This is a tshirt from Old Navy. I bought it probably 3 months ago, and now I feel like I'm swimming in it. It is only an XL. The neckline is NOT a boat collar, it actually just stretches THAT far!

Here I am again in my pajamas. I took this picture tonight, literally 30 minutes ago. I am starting to come together nicely if I do say so myself. I make it sound like I'm a swingset that takes ages to put together! "She's coming together nicely fellas, now put that swing up on the left, thanks." Okay, honestly I don't know what I'm talking about. It's late and I'm tired! I am officially down 7.5 pounds since I started weight watchers. I wish I could say it was more (like my freaking hubby who has already lost 15!) I am down 70 pounds since my heaviest weight though, and that's what matters right? I am working on a healthier lifestyle. Writing what I eat really opens my eyes as to what it is I'm putting in my body.

Today, for the first time in a week I actually ate all 3 meals. I had been skipping breakfast because I'd been waiting so long to get up to take care of myself. I would get up early, take care of the baby, then lie on the couch. This week will be different, I'm going to take control of my mornings again. I ended up going 3 points over today and into weeklies because of a bran muffin, but it's better that than chocolate! I also got in my 3 servings of milk, and all my liquids. I'm still having issues getting in 5 servings of veggies/fruits, because I'm such a picky eater, and I only have 29 points to play with. Here's a run down of what I ate today.

1 Cup Fiber One Honey Clusters Cereal-4 pts
1 Cup 2% Milk-3pts

Peanut Butter & Strawberry Jelly on Honey Wheat Bread-7 pts
1 cup 2% milk-3 pts

3 oz roast beef-6pts
1 Cup cooked carrots-1 pts
1 Cup 2% milk-3pts

Rosemary & Olive Oil crackers-2pts
Bran muffin-3pts
Diet Dr. Pepper-0pts

That's all I've got for you lovely blog readers tonight. Check back later this week when I get back on track and on topic. Prepare for more vlogs, and less meaningless blogs. (Unless you like them?)

If you aren't already, follow my on twitter! My link is off to the right of this page.

Peace, Love, and Music Pics
Sarah V.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Happy Saturday fellow bloggers and blogettes! I hope everyone else is having as productive a morning as I am. I woke up at 7 a.m. today so that I had time to get ready for my 9 a.m. weight watchers meeting. I got dressed, did my hair, swept the kitchen, picked up toys, got the baby up, poured her milk, cooked her scrambled eggs, and then made sure Drew was up. It was a relatively good morning.

Andrew and I don't eat before we weigh in. We have found that we both do better that way, and then we have breakfast after we get home. Normally, thats never an issue, but today while staring at my daughters scrambled eggs my stomach growled a mighty growl. The smell of those tasty tasty eggs was teasing my tummy! Luckily, It was time to go soon after. I brought a Dasani and a Nutri-Grain bar to the meeting so that I had something to nibble on while I waited for my breakfast. Mmmm Strawberry Nutri-Grain bar. (Btw those are only 2 pts!)

I was honestly not expecting a loss today. I was in fact expecting a gain, if anything. The last 2 weeks I was stuck on the same weight, down to the exact ounce! I hadn't worked out at all last week, minus my one hour walk yesterday. Luckily, I think that's what budged the scale a little. (I'm down one pound.) Earlier in the week I was all the way down to 192, and then I drank about 5 diet sodas this week and had leftover Easter candy. Well, no more soda and it's time to chuck the Easter candy. (I am crying one sad lonely tear for all that chocolate.)

I've decided this next week will be better. I am getting ready to go for another walk when Emma takes her nap. I am going to do my best to get in at least 30 minutes of movement every day this week! I am sure I can handle it, even if its just chasing Emma through the house. I play with her a lot, but I never remember to count that as activity. Oh well. I was down a whole pound this week, making my grand total 15 lbs gone since January, 8 since I started W.W. and 70 since I gave birth. I only have another 23.5 lbs to go until goal weight. Yayy!

In order to motivate myself to walk more, I signed up for weight watchers 5k today. For anyone who isn't sure, the 5k is 3.1 miles long. I am so excited, I actually had to talk my husband into it, but he agreed. It isnt until June, so I have plenty of time to get used to the idea of walking 3 miles. I'm pretty proud that I even am thinking of doing something so awesome. I hope we can actually do it.

Well, there you have it. I have no idea what I said because my mind is running a million miles an hour. I think this is probably another one of those rambling blogs that jumps all over the place. I'm not sure, but I hope you understand what it is I'm saying. Last week was a shitty week, and this week Im feeling all revved up and motivated again. Hopefully, by the end of the week this feeling is still going strong. W-F are my weak days.

Today my leader said something that I thought was interesting:
If you always do, what you always did-
you'll always get, what you always got.

Aside from the horrific grammar in that mantra, I think its a good fit for weight loss.
Don't you?

Peace, Love, and Crackers
Sarah V.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

I'm baack.

Guess who's back? No, it's not Slim Shady! It's shapely Sarah. Yeah, I made that up on the spot, and let's never speak of it again. Did you miss me? Did you notice I was gone? Don't lie to me, or I'll fry you with a bug zapper.

This week has been one of those rough weeks. I am losing all motivation, I am losing all support, I am losing everything really. Well, except weight. Go figure. Being a stay at home mom to an 18 month old daughter, everyone assumes I've got time on my hands. In reality, I don't. I'm sure that you all think I can just gate her up, and do my thing, but it doesn't work that way in my house. First of all, my daughter will throw a tantrum until she literally gets hurt if I put her in her room. It doesn't matter if its for five minutes or fifty five, she knows that gate time means Im leaving. That leads me to conclusion number two, if she can hear me or see me, she will not stay silent. She is very attached to me.

My daily routine usually goes something like this.
  1. Get out of bed
  2. Get Emma milk
  3. Find and then cook Emma breakfast
  4. Feed Emma
  5. Change Emma's diaper and clothes
  6. Play with Emma
  7. Husband comes home for lunch, yells at me for skipping breakfast
  8. Eat lunch with the husband, chat with him til he goes back to work
  9. Find and make the baby lunch
  10. Feed the baby (this step takes 20-30 minutes btw)
  11. Change her diaper/clothes again
  12. Put her down for a nap
  13. Listen to her cry herself to sleep for an hour
  14. Sneak in a fast shower
  15. Blow dry my hair/fix my hair
  16. Sit down, have a snack, grab a drink, pick up toys, etc
  17. Get baby up
  18. Change her diaper
  19. Get her another cup
  20. Play with her
  21. Talk to dad and grandpa when they get home
  22. Find her supper
  23. Cook dinner for 4.
  24. Feed her
  25. Wash dishes/clean kitchen
  26. Bathtime
  27. 30 minutes of family time
  28. Put on pjs and overnights
  29. Clean her bedroom
  30. Pick up all her toys
  31. Say her goodnights to everyone
  32. Put her to bed
  33. Listen to her cry herself to sleep for another hour, and leave the area so she can't hear me
By now it is 9 pm. I can't leave the house because not only do I not currently have a working car, but I also don't have a working house key. This means, I can't go out for a walk. I can't go to the store. I can't go to the gym. I can't go to the park. I can't go to the daycare. I can't do anything, because I'm a prisoner in this G.D. house! Anyways,  her daddy has been going to bed at 10 pm because he has to get up for work at 4.

The last few workouts I did were while dad was home and could watch her. He would play with her, or even watch her while I went on a walk or run. This week his entire schedule changed, and it threw off the entire family. Not only is his sleep schedule off, but we're not sleeping in the same room. The baby is getting up at all sorts of random hours because she hears him come and go at 5 a.m. She's also been teething and had a diaper rash, so she has wanted to be held non stop. It's like this entire week nothing has worked out for me.

All I want to do, is get the baby into her stroller and go for a walk. Tomorrow, my husband comes home at 3 pm and he's mowing the lawn. He can't watch her because he has to work, and mow the lawn, and he doesn't get up with her at all during the night because he has sleep apnea. It's ALL me. If this isn't a workout, I don't know what is. I am a full time, on call, 24/7 parent. I stay up for days on end with ZERO sleep while she is sick. I clean up after 2 grown men, an infant, and myself. I cook for a family of 4, I clean up after a family of 4, I wash dishes 3 times a day used by that same family. And, there are plenty of things I do that ARENT listed during the day. Do you see times listed where I can use the rest room? Do you see times listed where I spend 5 minutes checking my bank statement online? Most of my facebook/twitter happens from my phone after everyone's asleep!

The layout of my house is simple. One story, wood floors, vaulted ceilings. There is a horrible echo through the entire house. This week the baby is in one room, the grandpa is in the room across the hall, daddy is in the living room directly across from them, and my back room is just off the living room. If I sneeze, I will wake the family. I am just having a very, very stressful week. I know that these aren't reasons, I know that they're excuses, but I find it very difficult to work out when I have zero support, zero help, and zero place/way to do it. Next week WILL be better. This week has sucked monkey anyways. I am going to try my damndest to walk tomorrow, if it doesn't rain AGAIN! That, and if Emma is feeling alright, she did have 3 shots today. *sigh*

On a happier note, my daughters pediatrician looked me up and down once and told me that I looked like I'd lost a LOT of weight since I saw her last. (Hmm, is 14 pounds in 3 months a lot of weight?) That was damn near the only bright part of my day.

Oh and in case anyone was wondering why I wasn't blogging, or if anyone even noticed it's because I have had so much going on at home, and I've been so depressed with things lately that I just haven't made the time to get online. Honestly, I haven't had any me time in quite a while. Today I attempted to watch a movie and I had to stop it over 8 times just to get to the end. It took me about 6 hours to watch an hr long movie. That's how awesome my life is right now. I can't even enjoy a little down time. I feel like I'm always on the run, always on the move, always doing something. Cooking, cleaning, playing, running errands, laundry, dishes, doctors, stores, etc. We actually wore pedometers to walmart the other day and after we left we figured up that we had earned 1 activity point each. I don't know if that's awesome or depressing, because walking around walmart is how we kill time before coming back home while we grocery shop.

Okay, I'm seriously signing off now. I will find a way to work out again, even if it means doing yoga in the shower. lol. But for real, show the love. I desperately need it. And I know it's technically Friday but I will post a Fun loving Friday post in the morning/afternoon. This is just going to be my "lets pretend its still Thursday and cheat a little" blog post. :)

Peace, Love, and Bitching (Its what I do best)
Sarah V.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010


Today is a fail. It's just one of those days, where you know everything is going to go wrong. I've been dealing with the domino effect all morning.

It all started when I woke up late and from there it just snowballed. I tripped over the baby gate leaving the bedroom, tripped on the couch pillows which were strewn about the floor, and then tripped over a bucket sitting in the kitchen. Hello, didn't I just clean that all up last night? *Sigh* I got Emma her milk and gave her some breakfast before laying on the couch to watch Sabrina The Teenage Witch on Abcfamily. Don't judge. I grew up on that show, and I like to feel nostalgic.

When 10 am rolled around, I decided I was going to get off my duff and do something. I went to the bathroom and attempted to fix my hair. It wasn't happening today, so I said forget it, and into a pony tail it went. I threw on my sports bra, a hoodie, and my workout pants. I was going to take Emma on a nice LONG walk around the neighborhood. I knew it would make me feel better.

Then, just as I'm getting ready to dress Emma, my husband sends me a text saying he'll be home for lunch in ten minutes. Okay, looks like I'm not going anywhere after all. So, I patiently wait for him to get home, and I start making myself some delicious ramen noodles. He comes home, we talk, I check the mail and see my awesome books from Quinn for my bday, and then I come back inside. I drained my noodles, and finished making them on the stove. That's new to me, because I always make them in the microwave. I was up too late for breakfast, so I opted for a nice filling lunch. The noodles sounded and smelled delicious, and they were the last pack, so I was excited to eat them. Just then, I tripped over another baby toy, and down go the noodles. Yep, my only pack of ramen noodles, are now all over the floor AND on top of my cell phone which also fell to the ground.

I drop to the ground with a roll of paper towels cursing the day. The noodle juice burned my hand on the way down, and I'm just beyond frustrated. The baby wouldn't stay out of the kitchen, because she wanted to play in the fun noodle mess! I made her cry when I told her she had to go play in the other room. (Making mom feel even worse about her terrible day, check!)

My husband says his goodbyes, and I think to myself that now would be an even BETTER time to go for that walk because I need the fresh air and quiet time. Well, what do you know, the very moment my husband leaves, it starts to rain. So, I put the baby down for a nap, and I'm enjoying some me time online.

Now, my tummy is growling, I'm too irritated to cook, the kitchen needs cleaned, and my hand hurts. Today has already really just been sucking. OH, and its only noon! So, I'm going to try not to set anything on fire, break any bones, or do anything requiring a swat team. Wish me luck.

For now, I'm going to go sulk in the corner, and read about food.

Peace and Love.

Monday, April 19, 2010


Do you all see this number? This wonderful, fantastic, beautiful number? Well, that was my weight at of 4/19/2010. I weighed in on Saturday at 195.5, but the entire week before I had the birthday celebration I was at 193. Apparently, my bloating, water weight, and ice cream flab have gone back to normal. Plus, drinking 3 liters of water a day seems to really help with the weight loss. Yay.

The reason this number is so fabulous to me is because at my heaviest I was 262 pounds! That means that as of today I have lost 70 pounds. Of course, the last ten or so has been with the help of weight watchers, the first thirty was dropped within weeks after birth, and I have spent the last YEAR working on the other 30! I think that the day I step on the scale and its under 190, I may actually faint.

Of course, losing 70 pounds in 18 months is a pretty big accomplishment for me, considering I did 90% of it on my own. I had no weight loss regiment, I had no weight loss buddies, I didn't take diet pills, or have a support system for a very long time. Then, in January of this year, I decided to start a little weight loss campaign. It started off as a wii weight loss challenge, that would be done in 6 weeks. It ended up turning into a full on lifestyle change, for myself and several others! Here I am, 4 1/2 months later, and I'm still going strong. I am moving more, eating healthier, drinking more water, and you are all still here by my side. In fact, some of you are new readers who have found me on twitter even. I feel so loved.

So, this last week my friend Brooke EXPOSED herself via blog. Now, you've all seen my stomach and how nicely its shrinking. What you havent seen is everything else. So, in honor of Brooke AND the Exposed movement, I'm going to show you all what I've spent the last 2 years hiding from. Are you ready for this? Hell. I'll give you a full frontal AND a side view. (The first one Im still wearing my boxers, so just be mindful of that, haha)

So, first of all, note the happy smile on my face. (Sarcasm) I actually took about ten of each shot, and by the end I wasnt smiling at all. Unfortunately, the other pics all turned out blurry because 1.) my mirror is dirty and 2.) the bathroom isn't lit well enough not to use a flash, but the flash reflects and ruins the picture. So, hooray.

Now, I'm going to do something I never do. I'm going to once again follow in Brookes foot steps and talk about what I LIKE about myself, rather than what I HATE. Pictures included. Woo for pic blogs.

My favorite thing about myself is my eyes. I know that everyone loves their eyes for different reasons, but mine are the one feature I've never grown tired of. Even wearing contacts, they still fit my personality. My eyes are awesome because they change color naturally. It always freaks people out, and no one believes that I don't wear colored contacts. (I wear regular contacts is all!) My eyes change from blue, green, hazel, and gray. If you ever have gone through my pictures, pay close attention to my eyes. They blend to match what I'm wearing, or my mood. If they're gray, I'm usually upset. The other colors do what they want.

My second favorite thing about myself, is my smile. I don't like my teeth, but I love my little smart ass smirk. If you ever see me smile with my teeth, I probably look like this...........
Yep, this is my Derrr face. :) It's fun to laugh at yourself sometimes. But in all seriousness, I love my face. I look like my mom, and the more people tell me that, the happier it makes me. I love my mom and I'm proud to look like her. We're both very beautiful women. Plus, It would be creepy if I looked like my dad!

So today, I'm proud of my body and I'm proud of myself for what I've done. It's been a long journey, and I plan on continuing to do it for the rest of my life. I will get to my goal weight. I will not be depressed if I have an off week. I will try my best to keep reminding myself that I AM doing a good job, and that these things take time.

Until next time blog readers!
Sarah V.

P.s. Thanks to Quinn for the birthday shout out on Friday! I know I don't look 24, but I promise I am. And this is all I had for my birthday celebration, alongside my TCBY ice cream. But It was so, so, so, so, soooo delicious.

Peace and Love.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Another Weigh Day

I couldn't sleep last night. I was awake until one and was awakened at 7 by the annoying ring of my cell phone alarm (three times!) I had hoped eating the tasiest ice cream in the world the day before weigh in wouldn't bite me in the ass, and it didn't. Hoooray. Okay, that's a lie. I didn't lose a single pound, when earlier this week I was down 2. That means that the diet coke/diet rootbeer and ice cream I had yesterday really kicked my ass. I'm sure of it in fact. I also need to throw away the rest of the Easter candy. (Who wastes candy!?!?)

My meeting was typical to say the least. I wasn't down (or up!) a single pound, and yet my hubby lost 4 without even trying. CURSE HIM. He loses 3.5-4 lbs every single week. I feel like I'm stuck, and this is the weight I was stuck at for years before having my daughter too, so I expected this struggle.

Normally, I'm very quiet. I sit in the middle of the room, and keep my head down the entire time. I listen contently, and smile pleasantry as people talk. Today, I finally got the courage to speak out loud, and of course there's a frog in my throat. I felt like an idiot, and my face turned beat right. I cleared my throat and tried again. Cindy (my leader) told me that I was correct and that what I had said was the most important topic. (Go me.) Just then my husband gives me this side eye look and makes my face go beat red. He teases me for not talking, and the one time I do, he makes me blush! Yep, that's my Andy. (Who, by the way, hit his 5% goal in our 5th week. He's down 14 pounds already, and I'm only down 7.)

So, I'm glad that my bday ice cream didn't kill me. I'm disappointed that I didn't lose, but I was prepared for that. This week I'm going to get back into moving more, and trying to get in those veggies! Last week was a rough week. Easter Candy, My birthday, Ice cream.......it was all too much! Next week WILL be better. (I hope.) On a happy note, I am still at my pre-baby weight, which is amazing.

Well friends, that was my day. I know I don't have much to say, but honestly my contacts are a little dry and my eye is sexily bloodshot so I am going to go remove them and put on my glasses for a few hours. (WHA?!) And in case anyone was wondering, my husband and I saw date night last night. I honestly haven't laughed so much, or so hard at a movie in YEARS. I nearly cried! Then today, I treated myself to a funky punky new hair do. $30 well spent for my own birthday present, to uh, myself.

I will blog more later. Or maybe I won't. But for now, it's chicken salad sandwhiches with light mayo *ew* and chopped celery/onion/red bell peppers for lunch. Hooray. I love fast easy lunches. Feel free to send recipes my way. Tweet me. Facebook me. Email me. I don't care. Just show the love.

Peace, Love, and Netflix
Sarah V.

P.s. I'm still waiting for Jackshit to jump out of my birthday cake...but, I think he's stalling. :)

Friday, April 16, 2010

Fun Lovin Friday...

It's Fun Loving Friday!

As I'm sure you can guess by the photo above, my fun loving Friday entry today is about my cell phone! I love my cell phone with all my heart for several different reasons. 
For starters, it has tons of pictures of my daughter in it. It also makes as a good make shift camera when I don't have my Canon with. Sure the quality sucks, but its the memory that counts right?
Second of all, my entire family is in there. My dad got his first cell phone this year (at the age of 45, tear, they grow up so fast) and he has just learned how to text. My mom and I also only stay in contact via text anymore. I call her once or twice a month, but we text often. I love getting random texts from them. Its so odd, but its like they know when I need a little parental pick me up.
Thirdly, it has my friends in there! (IE: YOU GUYS!) People I haven't seen in years text me and we have fun little chats. Even some people I've never met (like my best friend Ryan) text me! Btw, He is my favorite texter, just because he's so entirely random. (Of course Quinn is a very close second, she's also a very fun texter!) Just since yesterday I've already received 45 texts. So really, I have to say that I Looooove my phone. It's my sanity!!
And finally, it has the internet and a touch screen. I mean, who doesn't love laying in bed, sitting on twitter, facebook, blogger, myspace, or youtube? I know I do. Sometimes I just don't want to bust out my giant laptop to see what's going on in internet land.

It's hard to live away from your family and friends. I literally left my entire life behind in Iowa the day I moved to Tennessee. I left the world I knew and grew up in behind me. I feel like I'm completely lost without my phone, even if its been days since someone called or texted. I honestly feel like my phone is my only access to the world back home, and as long as I have it, I have a little piece of home with me. Does that make sense? 

That is why my superawesomecellphone is the thing I love today. (Also, it now has a pink case on it, and is so much cuter.)

FOLLOW ME! (I'm all over your interwebs)

Peace, Love, and Another year older
Sarah V.

P.s. I also love today, but only because its my birthday AND a Friday. <3 Woohoo.
This blogger is officially 24.

Thursday, April 15, 2010


Since today is the last day of my 23rd year of existance, I have decided to do a picture blog! I feel like I've come a long way since we began our 6 week challenge in January. (For anyone who doesn't know what I'm talking about, refer to my first blog!)

Here we are 4 1/2 months later, and I'm down FIFTEEN pounds already! I sure don't feel like I've lost that much weight, and quite honestly I don't think I look like I have either. I am trying to keep the bigger picture in mind. Only 25 pounds to go! So, here's a little photo reminder of what I looked like back in January when we began this little endeavor....

Here are the stats for the above photos.
Weight: 209-210
 Chest: 42 inches
Waist: 36 inches
Hips: 42 inches

And here, are some photos I took today. I hope you're in the mood to see a lot, because there are quite a few here. Maybe I'll only post a few though......hmm.

Current weight: 194.5
Chest: 41 inches
Waist: 33 inches
Hips: 42 inches (I doubt that will ever change!)

So, as you can see, I am down in both pounds and inches. Unfortunately, I feel like I'm losing weight in all the smaller areas first, so the overall effect isn't that noticable yet. Sadly, I no longer have ANY butt! It's like a wall back there, very flat. I never really had a butt before I gained weight, but that was the one place I was okay gaining weight. I'm glad I've lost inches though. These pants were TIGHT on me just 3 weeks ago, and now they fall off while I walk. (Size 16) I even put on my pre baby jeans, and I could squeeze into them just fine! They are 14's, but my hips kind of protrude over the sides of my jeans in them still, so hopefully I can try again in a few months! I'm really excited.

These are the current jeans I wear. Size 16, and a little too big these days. Even with a belt, they tend to fall off. I could try a pair of 15's, but I think those are just plain awkwardly sized. I think I'll just keep doing what I'm doing, and hoping for more results! So, there you have it. A photo update for my weight loss friends. Tell me what you think, and be brutally honest. Also, don't mind the tiger stripes. That tends to happen when you get pregnant and gain seventy pounds. Oh, hey. For a fun reminder, lets have a look at how big I was when I was pregnant.

The blue tank top was my wedding day (no i didnt wear the tank top.) I was 36 weeks along. The black shirt was the day before my induction. I was 40 weeks there and 262 pounds!

Alright, Well I hope you all had a fun walk with me down memory lane. Some of you were there with me through all the ups and downs of my pregnancy (hi Quinn!) and others I didn't meet until recently. I hope that you are all enjoying my blog, and continue to read what I have to say. Obviously, I rant and rave a lot, but I hope that doesn't make you any less inclined to read. Plus, when I hit my goal weight, I am going to *gulp* take a picture wearing only a 2 piece! God save us all. You don't want to miss that do you? Oh, wait...you might. Well either way, stick with me kid, and you'll go far. ha!

Peace, Love, and Random Pictures.
Sarah V.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010


This weekend is my 24th birthday. That's right people, as of 8:11 a.m. on the 16th of April, I will be 24 years old. That's a lot of numbers for me to throw at ya isn't it? I am afraid I'm going to fall off the wagon. I'm afraid I'm going to eat my body weight in cake and ice cream. Even worse still, I am feeling quite depressed lately. When I get depressed one of two things happens. The first of which being, I eat until I cant even button my pants. The second of which being, I starve myself. Obviously, niether of these things are healthy, and I'm conscious of them. Being conscious of them means that I can try to halt either of these things from happening. But, Some habits just die hard..

There are a lot of things going on in my life right now that are making me unhappy. The fact that I'm almost 24 and living with my father in law being the first. The fact that my car has been broken down for 3 1/2 months, with no signs of it being fixed, is the second. The third, well money. Isn't that everyone's issue these days? My husband is barely getting any hours at work, and I cant physically get a job without the ability to get there and back. I need to be able to drive myself to work, and my daughter to and from daycare. The only way our lives are going to improve will be for us to get our shit together, move out, both work, and put our daughter in daycare.

I hate the idea of Emma going to daycare, but she has spent every day of her life for 18 months sitting at home with mommy. She needs to be around other kids, and I'm aware of this. I really would like to be a stay at home mom when she hits school age, but right now life has other plans for us. We need like fourteen miracles to occur simultaneously, but nothing is ever easy enough for us. It seems like we're always clawing our way up out of one hole, and digging ourselves right back down into another. We are tired of taking help from everyone else, trying to please everyone else, and listening to everyone else. The situation we're in is taking a real toll on our marriage, and our lives ,even if I'm the only one who sees it. Its time to grow up, and move forward. It's time to make our own futures, and not let everyone else plan them for us.

So, my 24th year will be dedicated to doing just that. I am giving myself one year from the 16th of April, to get my life in order. I am giving myself one year to have a place of our own, a decent job, and some financial stability. If after one year, I am still in the same situation: carless, jobless, and technically homeless, I will be forced to move back to Iowa for a while to re-evaluate my priorities. So wish me luck in my year long endeavor, stick with me to find out what happens, and pray to god that I don't eat my body weight in cake. Because honestly, I kind of want to.

Maybe Ill just get myself a cupcake instead?

Peace, Love, and Bitching.
Sarah V.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Holy Buckets!

Last night, I started my very own bucket list with the inspiration of my friend Brooke. I put the pen to paper and started writing. I stopped once I hit number 80. I will tell you, this isn't your typical bucket list. It consists of things that I might never be able to control, but would still like to do. So, I guess it's a little strange...just like me! So, without further delay, here it is. My totally random list of things to do before I die.

  1. Visit all 50 states, and have my photo taken next to the "welcome to" sign. (Ex: Welcome to Ohio sign.)
  2. Graduate college.
  3. Own a photo studio.
  4. Run a marathon.
  5. Get hair extensions.
  6. Travel to an exotic island.
  7. Meet Shane Dawson & Zach Braff.
  8. Do one thing that I'm terrified of.
  9. Drastically change someone elses life.
  10. Be financially stable.
  11. Have a bedroom with red walls.
  12. Own a brand new car that is fully paid off.
  13. Pay off all of my old debts.
  14. Meet my half brother.
  15. Visit my grandfathers grave.
  16. See France
  17. Break all the rules in any one place. (Like a swimming pool!)
  18. Visit New York with my daughter.
  19. Be 100% happy with my body.
  20. Be someone elses inspiration.
  21. Publish a collective book of poetry and short stories featuring only the works of myself and my friends.
  22. Write a song.
  23. Learn to cook without a cookbook.
  24. Tell my brothers I love them.
  25. Finish my scrapbook.
  26. Burn all memorabilia from my exes.
  27. Be in a music video.
  28. Have my tattoos touched up.
  29. Be thin enough to rock a belly button ring.
  30. Meet all of my online friends in person!
  31. Learn to stop holding grudges.
  32. Watch a scary movie, alone, at night, in the dark.
  33. Own a home.
  34. Decorate my own home. (Yes, these two go together.)
  35. See a clone.
  36. Get over my fear of being in public.
  37. Make new friends.
  38. Learn to trust people again.
  39. Be brave enough for public speaking.
  40. Learn how to skip rocks.
  41. Try tofu.
  42. Have dinner with Hugh Laurie.
  43. Adopt a pet.
  44. Build a tree house.
  45. Drive for days with no destination.
  46. Spend a week in Hollywood.
  47. Ride a horse.
  48. Be a movie extra.
  49. Get a makeover from my friend Barbie Teal. 
  50. Spend one whole week with the Hay family.
  51. Get a breast reduction and lift.
  52. Get a career in medicine.
  53. Fall asleep under the stars with someone I love.
  54. See my baby brother graduate.
  55. Buy jeans in a one digit size.
  56. Move back to Iowa.
  57. See another concert. (I've only seen 3)
  58. Get drunk with my brother Ty, LEGALLY!
  59. Skinny dip in the rain
  60. Go for a walk with Ryan. 
  61. Find god.
  62. Wear a wedding dress. (I got married in blue jeans and a red top.)
  63. Ask forgiveness from all those who I've wronged.
  64. Own an autographed cd.
  65. Have a song written about me and recorded for me.
  66. Sing karaoke.
  67. Stop caring about what people think of me.
  68. Be a suicide girl for one day.
  69. Laugh until milk squirts out my nose.
  70. Take my mom out for a spa/girls day.
  71. Try an expensive wine.
  72. Start a charity.
  73. Learn how to play an instrument.
  74. Own 500 dvds.
  75. Take a pottery class.
  76. Learn how to paint on canvas.
  77. Buy a telephoto lens
  78. Have a picnic on a rooftop
  79. Finish my weight watchers goal by my 25th birthday. 

There you have it. Have you done any of these? Whats on your list?
Peace, Love, and Randomosity.
Sarah V.

    Monday, April 12, 2010

    Blog Free Weekend

    So as some of you may have noticed, I wasn't around this weekend much. I decided to take a break from the usual weight loss world, and blogs associated with it. It was nothing personal, I just decided that I was becoming a little too obsessive over it, and needed a break. Instead of focusing on my blogs, I spent the weekend with my family.

    My husband, father in law, daughter, and I all spent Sunday playing on the back patio. It was a gorgeous weekend. In fact, it was so nice that my husband and I decided to go buy a small charcoal grill, but instead of burgers or streaks, we grilled lean turkey burgers! I was pleasantly surprised with how delicious they were. I know a lot of people don't like charcoal grills, but that's what I grew up on. I also had a diet rootbeer with my turkey burger and 1 oz of bbq chips. Yeah, it was so freaking good.

    I'm proud to say that I also did great with points yesterday. I actually had TEN points left after dinner. I had to fight to get all my points in before bed. That NEVER happens to me. I'm always out of points after supper! So, I was pretty proud of myself for that. I also have been eating more fruits and veggies. Quinn told me to take some sweet grapes and freeze them so they are like a hard candy treat, so I am going to attempt that next time we get groceries. Anyone want to try it with me?! I am always up for trying new things, as long as it doesn't include foods that I'm for SURE I don't like.

    I have to say, I must be doing something right. On Saturday, I weighed in at 195.5, and the weight watchers scale matched my home scale. Today, I stepped on the scale and was so surprised to see the following numbers.....................

    Okay, first of all, let me say I have no idea why my feet look so creepy. They are not creepy feet, of this I assure you. They are cute, and small. (Size 7, for a girl who's almost six foot tall.) Second of all, I can not WAIT to see a number that begins with a 1-8, instead of a 1-9, or 2-0. I am so excited about this weight loss. I need to get to work on toning up my body so I don't end up a flabby mess of goo, but so far I look pretty good. I will post some before/after pictures in a blog later today or this week. I found some pics of my belly before I started losing weight back in Jan/Feb, and my jaw DROPPED. I never realized exactly how much weight I'd lost until I saw those pictures. For anyone keeping track, I was 209 in January and am now 193.2 (194.4 when fully clothed, and yes I'm naked in the pic above.) Wish me luck as I continue on this journey, and if ANYONE has any good food ideas, recipes, work outs, etc. Feel free to comment or shoot me an email!

    Peace, Love, and Early Morning CMT
    Sarah V.

    Saturday, April 10, 2010

    Half Weigh There

    Today was weigh in day, and I was pleasantly surprised. I was down 3 1/2 pounds this week. Now, considering the amount of Easter candy I ate, and the trip to Taco Johns. I was really amazed. Then again, the last 2 days that I was sick with food poisoning could have also helped that weight loss. I am over half weigh to my 5% goal already. I am hoping that I can hit it by my birthday, but I'm not counting on it. My birthday is 6 days away, and I need to lose another 3.5 pounds to hit my 5%.  Realistically, I would be happy to hit it before my Iowa trip. I really can't wait to hit 10 lbs gone! I weighed in at 195.5 today. I nearly cried. I am at my PRE BABY WEIGHT!!!!!! I have a long way to go until my "goal weight," but right now I am so excited to be back where I was. Obviously, my body has changed and I can't run off and throw on my pre baby clothes just yet, but damn it. I'm proud of myself.

    This week I am planning on walking every day that I possibly can. We talked about walking 10 minutes a day in group today, and I usually walk 30 a day. I think that I can manage that. Plus, it's supposed to be a gorgeous week! I really would like to be down another five pounds or so before my Iowa trip. That gives me almost 4 weeks to get down five pounds. If I lose 1 lb a week, I will almost be there. I know that I won't always be lucky enough to lose 3.5 lbs at weigh in. At least this week my scale and the weight watchers scale agreed. The weight watchers scale actually weighed me as .01lbs less than my home scale. WOO! I'm having a great Saturday so far, and I hope it stays that way.

    You will also be excited to hear that I ATE my weeklies last week, and I didn't feel guilty. I still had ten left by the time today rolled around, but I did it. I felt bad at first, and I kept thinking I was going to hinder my weight loss, but so far this program is working really well for my husband and I. Oh, speaking of my husband...he hit his TEN POUND mark today! He gets embarrassed sometimes being the only guy who goes to the meetings, but we see plenty who come weigh in and that has helped ease his embarrassment some. He got called up to get his 10 lb ribbon, and his face was so red. I'm not looking forward to that moment either. I hate being in the center of large groups. Luckily, there were only about ten people at today's meeting. I'm just really proud of him.

    When we lived in Florida, my husband managed to get down to 209 pounds. His goal is currently 180. (He's 5'9.) I was gaining as he was losing because I was pregnant. I managed to hit 262 as he hit 209. I remember crying to him in a parking lot when I saw my reflection in a car window. I looked at him and said, "I'm not supposed to be fat. You're not supposed to be the thin one. This isn't right. I feel horrible. I'm huge!" At that point, I was only 4 months along, and I had already hit about 215-220lbs.  He looked at me and told me that things were fine. He never even realized how thin he got until I showed him old pictures of himself. In the 9 months after we moved back from Florida, he gained over 60 pounds. We moved to a new town, and he was unemployed for 3 1/2 months. During that time he went through a bad depression. He was eating his feelings constantly, and I wasn't far behind. We would sit in the bedroom with potato chips, leftovers, candy, or any other amount of junk we could find. We would also both drink a ton of soda while we were playing xbox, or watching movies. We are mindless eaters, and it caught up to us.

    My husbands biggest point was around 269 pounds, and today he weighed in at 230. We have both lost a lot of weight, even before joining weight watchers. We finally hit a lull and we knew we couldn't do it on our own anymore. So, after weeks of talking about it, we decided to join. It was easy enough at first to weigh every meal, but over time it gets a little bit difficult. I have finally realized that if I just keep the measuring cup and scales out while I'm cooking, it doesn't bother me as much as it does when I have to go rummaging for things.   

    Over all I'd say today was a big success for us both. My husband went in to the meeting expecting to gain a pound or two, as did I. When I weighed myself sans clothes (which I do at home, to see my "true" weight) I weighed 194.4. I was so happy, I could cry. I can't imagine being under 190 pounds. I haven't weighed less than 195 pounds in around three and a half years. I can't wait to see how far this journey can take me. I still haven't decided on a goal weight. I was thinking 170, but the more I think about it, the more I think 165 might be better. Who knows. It's something that I will think about more and more as I lose the pounds. As long as my number doesn't drop down to some unrealistic number (like 135) I think I'll be okay. I will try to post some progress pics this week. I'm sure you're not sick of seeing my face quite yet. (Please note the sarcasm.) I'm also trying to talk my husband into letting me take his picture, but he loathes cameras. We have been married for going on 2 years, and we have never had a professional family photo done. I am hoping to talk him into that soon too. Wish me luck.

    If you haven't yet, please check out the blogs I'm following and show them the love!!!
    <3 hearts! <3
    Sarah V.

    P.s. Show some love. Let me know you're still out there in the universe, reading my blogs! :-)
    Or I will find you....
    (What can I say, I'm a lover not a fighter.)
    (That is only partially true.)

    Friday, April 9, 2010

    Happy Fridays.

    Well, it's time for another rendition of....HAPPY FRIDAYS! 

    Have you written YOUR happy Friday blog yet? All too often, we all get caught up in talking about nothing but weight loss, so if you're new to this blog (Hello twitter friends!) then I should inform you that every Friday, is Happy Friday. A day where we blog about something/somethings that make us happy, and are NOT weight loss related. If you haven't joined us in this yet, you should! It's a nice breath of fresh air.

    Today's things that make me happy include:
    1. Pandora Radio. No matter what kind of mood I'm in, Pandora seems to always know the right song to play. I love you Pandora Radio. <3
    2. Facebook. Yes, I'm a social networking junkie. If you didn't know that already you can find me here, here, here, here, and here! Feel free to add me, but you might want to message me first. I tend to get a lot of spam, and I wouldn't want you to get lost amongst those spammers!
    3. Iowa. As in, the state. I grew up in Iowa, and never thought I'd miss it so much! Luckily, I get to visit there in May. HOORAY! So, If you're an Iowan friend, and you're reading this. I will hit you up with details later on.
    4. Driving. I love driving with absolutely no where to go. I enjoy taking in the scenery. I love to see street signs. I love the freedom of driving with no where to go.
    5. Art. I like art of all kinds. I like body art, canvas art, watercolor art, photographic art, you name it. I love it.
    6. Flip Flops (Yes, Quinn. Me too!) I hate socks. I hate tennis shoes. I only wear them when its raining, cold, or when I'm working out. The rest of the time, my feet like to be naked, and exposed to the fresh air. Which is why I love flip flops.
    7. Summer smells. Who doesn't love this? The smell of blooming flowers, fresh rain, you name it.
    8. EnV touch. I love my phone. I would lose my mind without it. It is my lifeline to the rest of the world. I use it to text, get online, and listen to music. It's my technological best friend.
    9. Toe Socks. This goes along with number six, and my hatred for constricted toes.
    10. YOU! Hooray for blog readers/writers/weight watcher friends/support systems/etc. You all make me smile.

    Peace, Love, and Cherry Pajama Pants
    Sarah V.

    I've learned my lesson...

    As I mentioned in my last blog post, I had Taco John's for lunch yesterday. Not long after eating my food, I started to feel sick. (I didn't even finish the whole thing either!) Now, normally after I eat fast food, an hour later I'm in the bathroom praying to the porcelain gods. That feeling  usually goes away within an hour or two. Last night was not one of those nights.

    My husband and I decided to go to bed at eleven after a very long day. That's still pretty early for us, even though I felt like it was late. I sat in bed for half an hour, when I suddenly had the urge to be sick. I got up and went to the bathroom, where I spent the next three hours sitting on the floor. I literally felt like I took a brick of lead and swallowed it whole. I wanted to curl up in a ball on the floor and cry. I ended up taking anti-nausea medicine, 3 tums, and eating a Hawaiian sweet roll to absorb some of the junk in my tummy. I finally felt good enough to fall asleep at 2 a.m.

    I suddenly and randomly woke myself up at 4:37 a.m. and realized that I once again had the sudden and horrible urge to be sick. Only this time, it also felt like someone was trying to fight me from the inside out. I had the worst stomach pains that I've had in years. It was like someone was tugging me down from inside my stomach. Once again, I laid down on the bathroom floor until the feeling passed. I finally thought I would be able to get a little rest once my stomach stopped hurting quite so badly, and wouldn't you know it... One hour later, my daughter gets me out of bed.

    Today, is going to be a long day. I have had 2 hours of sleep, my stomach still hurts, and I'm still trying to figure out why there's a lead ball in my stomach. The only thing I did out of routine yesterday was eat that delicious grilled chicken burrito! (Which was terrible for me.) So, from now on the only "fast food" I even want to think about is Subway and Applebee's. Niether of those are really "fast food."

    I think the real issue here is that my body has been completely unable to process the garbage I put into it yesterday. I have gone the past three weeks eating 1/2 cup and 1cup portions of foods. I have worked out, avoided fast food, skipped any soda that wasn't "diet" or "zero." Even those I've had sparingly. My burrito yesterday was probably nearly a foot long, and I'm sure I ate 7 inches of that, plus potato ole's. I have learned my lesson. Fifteen minutes of delicious fast food, is not worth 24+ hours of stomach aches, nausea, and lack of sleep. Next time, I'll stick to making my own chicken and cheese wrap at home. It will cost half the points, one third of the money, and it won't give me this horrible stomach pain.

    Wish me luck on working out today. I really do need to get a workout in since I didn't yesterday. Sadly, I'm sore, I'm sick, and I'm exhausted. I will do my best to get one in tonight, assuming I feel better. But for now, I just put an angry baby down for a nap, (At 840 am!? That's a first!) and I'm going to use this time to get some rest myself. I really hope its a two nap day for my baby girl. Six am is early for anyone, especially someone so small. I'll tell you something though, I wish I had half her energy! (Daydreams)
    ....Oh, the things I could get done.

    Peace, Love, and Lessons Learned
    Sarah V.

    Thursday, April 8, 2010


    I have been so busy today, that I can't believe it's almost seven thirty. I have been up since eight am, and have not stopped moving since! To begin, my husband and I got up at eight, and he cooked breakfast for the family. We all sat down and enjoyed pancakes, toast, and eggs as a family. (Plus, it was only 6 points and way more filling than my usual fiber one.)

    Around nine, we began getting ready to go. We had to run to his work, get his check, cash his check, and get to the eye doctor place by eleven. That also included the time it took both of us to get dressed, and ready. Plus, we then had to get Emma changed, dressed, and ready to go. By the time we got his paycheck it was 10:30. We got to the eye doctors at eleven on the nose. From there on out, it took half an hour for us to fill out paper work.

    We waited for a good 45 minutes before the doctor came out to get my husband. He decided at the last minute to go for contact lenses even though he has had glasses for the past twelve years. His appointment took over an hour, because it took the doctor more than twenty minutes to get contacts into his eyes. They are very small and squinty, which made it hard on the doctor. After his appointment was over, it was my turn. Meanwhile, Emma is just sitting there quiet as a mouse the entire time! I was so proud of her. Nonetheless, my appointment took less than half an hour. The eye doctor commented on my *huge* eyes, and how easy it was to get my lenses in. We got the right lens in problem free, but the left lens didn't want to center. About five minutes later, we had both lenses in and working fine.

    Little did I know that the doctor had to numb and dilate my eye. He was even more chatty than I am, which I thought was impossible. He just sat there and asked me all these questions about Iowa. I was asked if my daddy was a farmer. I was asked if everyone there was Catholic. I was asked how much corn we sell to the rest of the world. Well, honestly just about any cliche question you can think of about the midwest came from this mans mouth. Suddenly, the bright lights were hurting me and he says, "Oh, that's just the dilation. It will go away in forty minutes or so." Well...I had no idea he even dilated my eyes. But, okay!

    We wound up spending THREE hours at the eye doctor today. After we left it was past lunch time and my husband wanted to stop to get something to eat. I kept arguing against him, but he said I just should use my weekly points and it would be a 'celebratory' purpose. So, I gave in and agreed. We went to taco johns and got small potato ole's, a diet pepsi, and a chicken grilled burrito. The entire meal totaled 24 points. OH. MY. GOD. I only get 29 a day. I am already at -1 and I haven't even had supper yet. I feel horrible, bloated, and I have an upset stomach. I haven't eaten fast food with the exception of subway in weeks. WEEKS! My stomach is very upset with me right now for that decision, but I'm crossing my fingers that I don't gain too much. I'm going to have to do an ass kicking workout tonight and tomorrow.

    Unfortunately for me, it rained and stormed ALL day. I didn't get to go outside to do my run for the 2nd day in a row, but I will try to do the elliptical tonight. Right now I have a horrible "new prescription" migraine, so I want to just lie down and sleep.  It doesn't help that it did NOT take 40 minutes for my eyes to return to normal size, but rather FOUR HOURS. Pitfall of having huge eyes I imagine.

    So after we ran all those errands, we put the baby down for a nap. The hubby and I laid in bed with our eyes closed and ended up falling asleep for an hour ourselves. We got up, got dressed, and went right back out. This time we drove half an hour to a gamestop so my husband could get a new mic/headset. I know that sounds silly, but it will save my sanity because its stereo headphones with a built in mic. That means I no longer have to hear things exploding, or him screaming at the top of his lungs *over* things exploding. Thank goodness for that! While we were there, I made him take me to the walmart across the street. I ended up getting some new makeup. Now that you can see my eyes again, I thought I might wear more makeup again. And I got my daughter a spout cover.

    A few days ago, she stood up in the bathtub. She drug her back against the tub spout and got about a 4 inch gash across her back. She screamed for a good twenty minutes while we were trying to doctor her up. This spout is shaped like an octopus, and was only eight dollars. Then I just got a few little knick knacks here and there, and we drove another half an hour home. I am just now resting my feet today, for the first time since 8 am, minus our one hour nap.

    Hopefully, I start to feel better soon so I can workout. But my day has been so busy that my head is nearly spinning.

    Peace, Love, and Caterpillars.
    Sarah V.

    Wednesday, April 7, 2010

    It hurts so good...

    Today was crazy! I decided to do a 20 minute workout on my elliptical. Sadly, that was only 1 activity point even though I was sweating my ass off, because of my weight range. I burned 170 calories though, which isn't bad for 20 minutes.

    So, after I finished my elliptical and saw it was only 1 activity point, I was kinda bummed. I decided to take that opportunity to go for a run/walk/jog. I live on a very hilly road, (Is hilly a word?) and while its easy to run on a flat surface, It's hard to run on hills. I don't mind the upward run as much as the downward one. Is that weird? I am afraid I will fall forward and bust my face while I'm running downhill. It's like I can't slow down or control my pace. I wasn't too smart about my first run, because I started it full force. By the end of the street, I just couldn't run anymore. So, I walk/jogged lightly the rest of the way back home. That counted for 2 whopping points. Unfortunately, I experienced "burny lung" horribly.

    On a happier note, I rediscovered the love I once had for running. I was on the track team for a few years in high school, and I wasn't half bad. I even did hurdles! They said my height helped with them, but I bet I couldn't do them now without getting scared and falling down into the fetal position. Haha. No, but seriously, it was amazing to feel the wind hit my face while I ran. I am going to walk, jog, and try to condition my body so that I can take it a little slower next time and enjoy myself. Oh, and in case you were wondering how I managed to go outside without being paralyzed with fear from my anxiety...well, my husband gave me his serrated pocket knife to carry. I felt much better with a knife in my hand, but I imagine I looked pretty crazy running down the street with a cell phone and pocket knife in my hand. (Note to self: Invest in workout pants with pockets.)

    I'm not going to lie to you guys. I overdid it today. I was so depressed and disappointed that I didn't work out yesterday, I tried to make up for it today. I did 20 minutes on my elliptical and I was pissed at myself for not making it 30 minutes. When I got back in the house from my run, my face was tomato red. I took a COLD shower, got out, and STILL had a red face. It lasted for over half an hour. That's how hard I pushed myself. I also almost threw up. Tomorrow, I'm definitely scaling back. I just got this burst of angry energy today, and I should have channeled it into Jillian or something more productive. I'm glad I got in a workout today though.

    My 3 activity points made up for the points I went over today. I was using my weeklies and trying not to feel guilty about it, but I honestly CAN NOT use them without feeling horrible. I don't know what it is, but after last weeks 1/2 lb "gain" while I was on my period, I nearly cried. I'm so afraid of that happening again this week. I know I need to buck up and deal with it. It was only one bad week, and I know that those happen to everyone. I just wasn't expecting it so soon. I keep telling myself I'm new to this so I should expect to slip up, but I am the type of person who just gets frustrated if I don't know how to do something right off the bat. I guess thats the control freak/OCD portion of me? I also hate it when I'm learning something and people tell me what to do. I have to see it for myself and imitate it most of the time. I think that's why I like Jillian and Your Shape for Wii. They show me what to do, instead of barking orders at me. I have only gone over ONE point today, and I have over 20 points left to use in the next 3 days. I doubt I will use them. *Sigh.* I need to work on that. Right? Right.

    Here are some fun pictures of me after my workout. And Hey, If you look sexy after your workout.......you're not doing it right! :)

    Now someone please tell me how attractive I look! This is probably close to ten minutes or more after my run. I was still that red faced! Hey, red faces make my eyes pop a little. Oh speaking of eyes, I am getting contacts tomorrow (if my astigmatism allows) so you will all see me looking exactly the same. Because, obviously I never wear my glasses for you guys. Well, here....this is me in my icky glasses. (Taken today)

    And here is me without. :) So much better. So I'm excited for that. Mostly because, well...honestly my eyes are my favorite feature (even more so after Quinns blog) and I hate that they're hidden behind glasses.

    Peace, Love, and Red Faces.
    Sarah V.

    Eating Habits..

    I read a few articles this morning about eating habits. While they're not near as fun as my normal blogging, I thought it offered some valid points. I am sharing them with you, and I will probably blog more this evening. 9 a.m. blogs usually make no sense anyways. 

    Here is a list of bad eating habits that I borrowed from Belly Bytes. I thought it was a rather interesting read.

    1. Binging: (I'm guilty of this.)
      When foods are low in fiber and high in sugar or salt and partially hydrogenated trans fats the tendency is to over-consume. When eating five to six small meals a day of high fibered fresh fruit, vegetables, whole grains, legumes, seeds and nuts, the result is burning more calories and storing less fat because your body's thermal effect is raised more frequently. Binging on refined processed foods is probably the greatest cause of obesity in America.
    2. Starving Yourself: (I've been known to do this...)
      Before and after binging comes starvation. Skip breakfast and your body has been "starving" for 12 to 18 hours resulting in over-eating again and causing your body to store much of the food as fat, as it can not burn it all for energy.
    3. Not Knowing What You Eat: (Weight Watchers is teaching me how to pay attention to this!)
      Most people do not pay much attention to how many low fiber calories and how much bad fat they consume daily, especially if they eat often in restaurants. Those excess calories get stored as fat.
    4. Sugar, White Flour, Caffeine and Simple Carbohydrates: (This is depressing...)
      Sugar raises blood sugar (glucose) levels, causing your body to produce insulin and changes your metabolic rate. Those who eat a lot of white flour and sugar products, loaded with empty calories, will store more fat and have a harder time burning it. Caffeine also raises the insulin levels, slowing down the fat burning process that starts in the morning and slows down throughout the day. Eating simple sugar carbohydrates late in the day promotes fat storage and blood sugar swings. Eating high fiber whole foods as a late night snack can help maintain a steady blood sugar level to give your body deep rest.
    5. Skipping Breakfast: (I did this every day for five years...bad idea.)
      Bet you thought your stomach tells you when you are full. It is actually your brain that signals your body it has had enough food, taking about 20 minutes from the time you begin eating. By eating chewy foods in a relaxed manner, you will be much less likely to overeat.
    6. Lack of Exercise: (Hey, I'm actually moving my ass now!)
      Our bodies were made to move so the less you feel like going for a walk, the better you will feel after going for a walk! Exercise increases our metabolism to help burn the food we eat as energy.
    7. Not Drinking Enough Water: (I have always hated water, but now that I dirnk my 64+oz a day I feel better and like it more. Curses!)
      Water is crucial for your brain cells and every organ in your body (including your skin) to work properly. For your body to burn fat, it needs at least eight glasses of pure water daily. Water not only satisfies your thirst, it reduces hunger and flushes out toxins. Liquids such as soda and coffee actually deplete your body of water. Do drink your water - it makes your whole body feel good! See Why Water?

    And now, we have 10 tips to healthier eating brought to you by realtime.net.

    1. Eat a variety of nutrient-rich foods. You need more than 40 different nutrients for good health, and no single food supplies them all. Your daily food selection should include bread and other whole-grain products; fruits; vegetables; dairy products; and meat, poultry, fish and other protein foods. How much you should eat depends on your calorie needs. Use the Food Guide Pyramid and the Nutrition Facts panel on food labels as handy references.
    2. Enjoy plenty of whole grains, fruits and vegetables. Surveys show most Americans don't eat enough of these foods. Do you eat 6-11 servings from the bread, rice, cereal and pasta group, 3 of which should be whole grains? Do you eat 2-4 servings of fruit and 3-5 servings of vegetables? If you don't enjoy some of these at first, give them another chance. Look through cookbooks for tasty ways to prepare unfamiliar foods.
    3. Maintain a healthy weight. The weight that's right for you depends on many factors including your sex, height, age and heredity. Excess body fat increases your chances for high blood pressure, heart disease, stroke, diabetes, some types of cancer and other illnesses. But being too thin can increase your risk for osteoporosis, menstrual irregularities and other health problems. If you're constantly losing and regaining weight, a registered dietitian can help you develop sensible eating habits for successful weight management. Regular exercise is also important to maintaining a healthy weight.
    4. Eat moderate portions. If you keep portion sizes reasonable, it's easier to eat the foods you want and stay healthy. Did you know the recommended serving of cooked meat is 3 ounces, similar in size to a deck of playing cards? A medium piece of fruit is 1 serving and a cup of pasta equals 2 servings. A pint of ice cream contains 4 servings. Refer to the Food Guide Pyramid for information on recommended serving sizes.
    5. Eat regular meals. Skipping meals can lead to out-of-control hunger, often resulting in overeating. When you're very hungry, it's also tempting to forget about good nutrition. Snacking between meals can help curb hunger, but don't eat so much that your snack becomes an entire meal.
    6. Reduce, don't eliminate certain foods. Most people eat for pleasure as well as nutrition. If your favorite foods are high in fat, salt or sugar, the key is moderating how much of these foods you eat and how often you eat them.
      Identify major sources of these ingredients in your diet and make changes, if necessary. Adults who eat high-fat meats or whole-milk dairy products at every meal are probably eating too much fat. Use the Nutrition Facts panel on the food label to help balance your choices.
      Choosing skim or low-fat dairy products and lean cuts of meat such as flank steak and beef round can reduce fat intake significantly.
      If you love fried chicken, however, you don't have to give it up. Just eat it less often. When dining out, share it with a friend, ask for a take-home bag or a smaller portion.
    7. Balance your food choices over time. Not every food has to be "perfect." When eating a food high in fat, salt or sugar, select other foods that are low in these ingredients. If you miss out on any food group one day, make up for it the next. Your food choices over several days should fit together into a healthy pattern.
    8. Know your diet pitfalls. To improve your eating habits, you first have to know what's wrong with them. Write down everything you eat for three days. Then check your list according to the rest of these tips. Do you add a lot of butter, creamy sauces or salad dressings? Rather than eliminating these foods, just cut back your portions. Are you getting enough fruits and vegetables? If not, you may be missing out on vital nutrients.
    9. Make changes gradually. Just as there are no "superfoods" or easy answers to a healthy diet, don't expect to totally revamp your eating habits overnight. Changing too much, too fast can get in the way of success. Begin to remedy excesses or deficiencies with modest changes that can add up to positive, lifelong eating habits. For instance, if you don't like the taste of skim milk, try low-fat. Eventually you may find you like skim, too.
    10. Remember, foods are not good or bad. Select foods based on your total eating patterns, not whether any individual food is "good" or "bad." Don't feel guilty if you love foods such as apple pie, potato chips, candy bars or ice cream. Eat them in moderation, and choose other foods to provide the balance and variety that are vital to good health.

    Peace, Love, and Turtles. (Why turtles? ...Why not?)
    Sarah V.

    Tuesday, April 6, 2010


    I stood in front of the mirror today, and I noticed a few changes in my body. I intentionally put on a short gray shirt so that you could easily see the outline of my body. I wasn't going to lie to myself this time. I wasn't going to put on another shirt that went past my hip, to try and hide my belly. Nope, not today.

    I stood on the scale at home which read 196. I put 16 pounds of weights on it last night to see if it registered accurately. It did. I'm not going to put too much stock into that number because I know my weigh in at weight watchers isn't for another 4 days, and I know that our scales aren't all created equal. I did smile when I saw the numbers though, and I will not lie about that. For once, when I step on the scale it isn't teetering on the edge of 200.

    Before I had my daughter, I weighed 195 pounds. I always had curves, and hated them. I wanted to be a stick. I wanted someone to look me up and down, and see nothing but a straight line. I wanted smaller boobs, a smaller waist, and non existent hips. The hips that poke people when they touch you. Luckily, I'm not that girl anymore. I am learning to embrace my curves. I'm trying to find a way to love them, instead of hate them. So far, I'm doing a pretty good job. I'm dealing with the fact that my daughter made my boobs even bigger than they were before. I'm dealing with the fact that she also pried my hips open on the day she was born. My waist is down a lot from when I first started this journey, and that's the first thing I've noticed. Since January I have lost around 4-5 inches off my waist. That's huge for me. Now, I am trying to get my hips to be a little curvier, and a little less pudgy. Wish me luck on all of that!

    As for today. Well, I'm proud today. I'm proud that I'm sticking to my guns. I'm proud that I'm continuing on my journey with weight watchers, and trying my best not to give in to the Easter Candy. I am trying to replace cookies and chocolates, with w.w. pretzel thins, yogurts, and bananas. I am trying my best, and it's starting to show. I am also excited to say, that I have not put on a pair of "mom jeans" in over a week. That's right, this week all of my pants have sat at hip level! This is a huge accomplishment for me. I always hid behind my mom jeans before.

    I feel like, I am seeing myself for the first time. I think that every time I look in the mirror, I am seeing my honest to god self. I am no longer seeing the fat girl. I am no longer fighting to hide behind long baggy shirts, mom jeans, and black overalls. Okay, I never wore black overalls but you get the idea. I am proud to look in the mirror and be happy with what I see. No, I'm not at my goal weight, and I don't even care. Imagine how happy I'll be to get there, when I'm already so excited to be just a few pounds thinner. I am doing this for me. I am doing this the right way. I'm not taking diet pills (like my husband) or cheating on plan. I am getting my ass up and moving, even if its just a 30 minute walk a day. My booty is on the couch less, the computer less, and spending more time running around with my daughter. I chase her around the house, we play outside, I take her for walks, we go to the park. I do whatever I can to get in a little movement. I will be starting Jillian up again soon, but honestly I don't know when.

    So today, I feel like a brand new person. Today, I notice the changes that I'm making are actually working. Today, my stomach will growl to tell me I'm hungry, and I will eat a healthy snack. Can I do this for the rest of my life? God I hope so.

    Here are a few recent progress pictures.

    I'm not particularly fond of the little bit of hip that sits on top of my jeans, but
    I'd like to believe I've come a long way. My waist is currently down
    one whole inch since starting w.w. and my belly is down 1/2 inch.


    Peace, Love, and Grocery Day
    Sarah V.

    Monday, April 5, 2010

    Things I Love...Monday?

    Friday I got so busy doing other things that I forgot about "things I love Fridays." So, I'm making it a Monday occurrence today. Which, after the day that a few of us are having (hugs Quinn) seems to be a good idea anyways.

    Todays "Thing I Love" is YOUTUBE!

    Youtube is a fun service that offers me hours and hours of boredom killing. I love to look up music videos, new bands, and more importantly funny youtubers. My favorite 2 youtubers are Shane Dawson and DaveDays. You probably won't think any of this is funny, because I have a quirky sense of humor, but have a look anyways.

    This is Dave Days. He made a series of 9 videos parodying Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus. After 2 years, she agreed to be in one of his videos. I think this song is funny.

    And this is my favorite youtuber Shane Dawson. He is a crude one, but I love his humor.

    And YES, the first song IS in Shane Dawsons video. HAH! That makes it doubly awesome.


    Music is my inspiration. I could never work out in silence. I have to have my husbands ipod or my env touch with me as I'm working out. I need to have a playlist going. I need something to pump me up, and wind me down at the same time. I use music as a motivational tool. I see no harm in turning on the ipod/phone, setting it in the stroller, and taking Emma on a walk to the stop sign and back. I need to figure out how many steps/miles that is, but for now I can tell you it's a half an hour walk. It's also up and down very steep hills, pushing 25 lbs. Hooray! I am thinking of upping the ante and going there and back twice here soon. I will put on my pedometer next time I go and figure out the steps.

    My second inspiration is twitter. Yes, twitter. That cell phone thingy. You know what it is, but did you know that you can meet a lot of cool people there? I have met other people doing weight watchers. I have gotten encouragement from strangers on similar weight loss journeys after posting my dilemmas in 140 characters or less. I recently tweeted that I wanted m&m's, and I was fighting not eating them. A few people I had never even met tweeted back that I shouldn't do it! I also have gotten new blog readers by posting my link on twitter. It's actually a fun site once you get going. (My twitters in the side bar if you're interested.)

    The third inspiration I have for you is social networking sites. This one was tricky for me. Getting on facebook and openly admitting I was struggling with my weight was a hard thing for me to do. I was always hiding in the corner, watching as other people openly admitted their struggles and successs. It took me a while to get to that point with my journey. I didn't want to get online and admit that I had an issue. I didn't want people to know that while I looked great in pictures from the waist up, there was a pudgy mom belly underneath where that picture stopped. Luckily, my good friend Brooke was so outspoken about her journey, that I decided to take a page from her book. Weight loss is not something I should be ashamed of, it's something I should be proud of. I'm working towards a goal. I'm trying to get to a happier place, and I don't want to hide in the corner secretly dieting to get there. Speaking out has gotten me a LOT of supporters, a lot of new friends, and a lot of help. I encourage you all to do the same. Get a buddy, write a blog, join twitter and tweet your weight loss. Do whatever you have to do, but if you have a crazy amount of help and support, it makes the journey to weight loss a whole lot easier. I also do weight watchers with my husband, which is helpful and hindering at the same time. We lean on each other a lot, so if one of us wants to cave so does the other. Luckily, that hasn't happened yet. He is keeping me in check though. He has been reminding me that since it was Easter weekend, I shouldn't expect to have a perfect weigh in. I hope I lose something though. *Crosses Fingers*

    Hmmmm, what else inspires me? I know I'm forgetting something. What is it though? What could I be forgetting? Well, I guess it will come to me later. See ya!

    Okay, okay you didn't buy it. Obviously my first and biggest inspiration is you! I just wanted to see how long I could drag it out. If I didn't have such good friends, and such a great 'blog support' system, I would have caved long long ago. You all offer encouraging words when I need them, and remind me that this is a journey that takes time. You all keep me sane. I love and appreciate all of you greatly. (Although I wish you'd comment more so I knew I wasn't writing in vain.) So I hope you are all still reading my blog. I'm still reading yours. And well, if you don't have one--start one! It's like a personal journal to free your thoughts into. I love it. If you create a blog be it here, wordpress, or anywhere else just be sure to link me/add me/follow me. I will do the same for you. I loooooooove reading new blogs. Was that over enthusiastic? Hmm, maybe I just loooove it. That better?

    Alright well, here's a fun filled list of my favorite weight loss blogs.
    *Sheryl* (aka bitchcakes)

    There are a few others I'm following, but I don't know them really well nor do I have their blog links memorized. If you'd like to check them out, have a peek at who I'm following and you'll see them there!!

    If you're feeling artsy you should check out the following blogs:

    Bookworm Quinn
    Cyanide Sarah (Yes, that'd be me.)
    Brooke, I need your link to put here. Lol. I searched but since you moved blogs on us, I am totally lost about where your other link is located now?

    Oh and you should always check out deviantart.com when you're feeling especially fun loving and artsy. It's a favorite of mine.

    Peace, Love, and Trying not to eat all of my easter candy at once! Arggh
    Sarah V.

    P.s. I only used 4 weekly points for Easter. GO ME.