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Thursday, April 22, 2010

I'm baack.

Guess who's back? No, it's not Slim Shady! It's shapely Sarah. Yeah, I made that up on the spot, and let's never speak of it again. Did you miss me? Did you notice I was gone? Don't lie to me, or I'll fry you with a bug zapper.

This week has been one of those rough weeks. I am losing all motivation, I am losing all support, I am losing everything really. Well, except weight. Go figure. Being a stay at home mom to an 18 month old daughter, everyone assumes I've got time on my hands. In reality, I don't. I'm sure that you all think I can just gate her up, and do my thing, but it doesn't work that way in my house. First of all, my daughter will throw a tantrum until she literally gets hurt if I put her in her room. It doesn't matter if its for five minutes or fifty five, she knows that gate time means Im leaving. That leads me to conclusion number two, if she can hear me or see me, she will not stay silent. She is very attached to me.

My daily routine usually goes something like this.
  1. Get out of bed
  2. Get Emma milk
  3. Find and then cook Emma breakfast
  4. Feed Emma
  5. Change Emma's diaper and clothes
  6. Play with Emma
  7. Husband comes home for lunch, yells at me for skipping breakfast
  8. Eat lunch with the husband, chat with him til he goes back to work
  9. Find and make the baby lunch
  10. Feed the baby (this step takes 20-30 minutes btw)
  11. Change her diaper/clothes again
  12. Put her down for a nap
  13. Listen to her cry herself to sleep for an hour
  14. Sneak in a fast shower
  15. Blow dry my hair/fix my hair
  16. Sit down, have a snack, grab a drink, pick up toys, etc
  17. Get baby up
  18. Change her diaper
  19. Get her another cup
  20. Play with her
  21. Talk to dad and grandpa when they get home
  22. Find her supper
  23. Cook dinner for 4.
  24. Feed her
  25. Wash dishes/clean kitchen
  26. Bathtime
  27. 30 minutes of family time
  28. Put on pjs and overnights
  29. Clean her bedroom
  30. Pick up all her toys
  31. Say her goodnights to everyone
  32. Put her to bed
  33. Listen to her cry herself to sleep for another hour, and leave the area so she can't hear me
By now it is 9 pm. I can't leave the house because not only do I not currently have a working car, but I also don't have a working house key. This means, I can't go out for a walk. I can't go to the store. I can't go to the gym. I can't go to the park. I can't go to the daycare. I can't do anything, because I'm a prisoner in this G.D. house! Anyways,  her daddy has been going to bed at 10 pm because he has to get up for work at 4.

The last few workouts I did were while dad was home and could watch her. He would play with her, or even watch her while I went on a walk or run. This week his entire schedule changed, and it threw off the entire family. Not only is his sleep schedule off, but we're not sleeping in the same room. The baby is getting up at all sorts of random hours because she hears him come and go at 5 a.m. She's also been teething and had a diaper rash, so she has wanted to be held non stop. It's like this entire week nothing has worked out for me.

All I want to do, is get the baby into her stroller and go for a walk. Tomorrow, my husband comes home at 3 pm and he's mowing the lawn. He can't watch her because he has to work, and mow the lawn, and he doesn't get up with her at all during the night because he has sleep apnea. It's ALL me. If this isn't a workout, I don't know what is. I am a full time, on call, 24/7 parent. I stay up for days on end with ZERO sleep while she is sick. I clean up after 2 grown men, an infant, and myself. I cook for a family of 4, I clean up after a family of 4, I wash dishes 3 times a day used by that same family. And, there are plenty of things I do that ARENT listed during the day. Do you see times listed where I can use the rest room? Do you see times listed where I spend 5 minutes checking my bank statement online? Most of my facebook/twitter happens from my phone after everyone's asleep!

The layout of my house is simple. One story, wood floors, vaulted ceilings. There is a horrible echo through the entire house. This week the baby is in one room, the grandpa is in the room across the hall, daddy is in the living room directly across from them, and my back room is just off the living room. If I sneeze, I will wake the family. I am just having a very, very stressful week. I know that these aren't reasons, I know that they're excuses, but I find it very difficult to work out when I have zero support, zero help, and zero place/way to do it. Next week WILL be better. This week has sucked monkey anyways. I am going to try my damndest to walk tomorrow, if it doesn't rain AGAIN! That, and if Emma is feeling alright, she did have 3 shots today. *sigh*

On a happier note, my daughters pediatrician looked me up and down once and told me that I looked like I'd lost a LOT of weight since I saw her last. (Hmm, is 14 pounds in 3 months a lot of weight?) That was damn near the only bright part of my day.

Oh and in case anyone was wondering why I wasn't blogging, or if anyone even noticed it's because I have had so much going on at home, and I've been so depressed with things lately that I just haven't made the time to get online. Honestly, I haven't had any me time in quite a while. Today I attempted to watch a movie and I had to stop it over 8 times just to get to the end. It took me about 6 hours to watch an hr long movie. That's how awesome my life is right now. I can't even enjoy a little down time. I feel like I'm always on the run, always on the move, always doing something. Cooking, cleaning, playing, running errands, laundry, dishes, doctors, stores, etc. We actually wore pedometers to walmart the other day and after we left we figured up that we had earned 1 activity point each. I don't know if that's awesome or depressing, because walking around walmart is how we kill time before coming back home while we grocery shop.

Okay, I'm seriously signing off now. I will find a way to work out again, even if it means doing yoga in the shower. lol. But for real, show the love. I desperately need it. And I know it's technically Friday but I will post a Fun loving Friday post in the morning/afternoon. This is just going to be my "lets pretend its still Thursday and cheat a little" blog post. :)

Peace, Love, and Bitching (Its what I do best)
Sarah V.


The Hay Family said...

Have you tried working out with Emma? Harliegh didn't like it at first but I kept trying anyways and now she tries to do it with me and she thinks its fun! I will put in Jillian and she gets excited! Just try it and do as much as you can, I have to stop numerous times to get Harliegh away...but at least it gives me an excuse to take a break! Can't you take Emma on walks still? That's good exercise, too. You could also try to fit in a quick workout during that hour she is crying herself to sleep. Just suggestions, of course, I have no idea what it's like at your house.

Sarah V. said...

Emma freaks out when I try to work out. She just pushes me, and walks under my feet. The last 2 times I tried it she wound up getting hurt. I also can't work out while she's sleeping because we can't be anywhere near her room which is directly behind the living room. We had a house key made the other day so that I COULD go for walks again, but they cut it wrong and it doesn't work. Hopefully we can get it fixed this weekend so I can go for walks again. With Andrews new work schedule everything is totally messed up. I'm going to take her out for a walk today though, after her morning nap.

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