This week has been one of those rough weeks. I am losing all motivation, I am losing all support, I am losing everything really. Well, except weight. Go figure. Being a stay at home mom to an 18 month old daughter, everyone assumes I've got time on my hands. In reality, I don't. I'm sure that you all think I can just gate her up, and do my thing, but it doesn't work that way in my house. First of all, my daughter will throw a tantrum until she literally gets hurt if I put her in her room. It doesn't matter if its for five minutes or fifty five, she knows that gate time means Im leaving. That leads me to conclusion number two, if she can hear me or see me, she will not stay silent. She is very attached to me.
My daily routine usually goes something like this.
- Get out of bed
- Get Emma milk
- Find and then cook Emma breakfast
- Feed Emma
- Change Emma's diaper and clothes
- Play with Emma
- Husband comes home for lunch, yells at me for skipping breakfast
- Eat lunch with the husband, chat with him til he goes back to work
- Find and make the baby lunch
- Feed the baby (this step takes 20-30 minutes btw)
- Change her diaper/clothes again
- Put her down for a nap
- Listen to her cry herself to sleep for an hour
- Sneak in a fast shower
- Blow dry my hair/fix my hair
- Sit down, have a snack, grab a drink, pick up toys, etc
- Get baby up
- Change her diaper
- Get her another cup
- Play with her
- Talk to dad and grandpa when they get home
- Find her supper
- Cook dinner for 4.
- Feed her
- Wash dishes/clean kitchen
- 30 minutes of family time
- Put on pjs and overnights
- Clean her bedroom
- Pick up all her toys
- Say her goodnights to everyone
- Put her to bed
- Listen to her cry herself to sleep for another hour, and leave the area so she can't hear me
The last few workouts I did were while dad was home and could watch her. He would play with her, or even watch her while I went on a walk or run. This week his entire schedule changed, and it threw off the entire family. Not only is his sleep schedule off, but we're not sleeping in the same room. The baby is getting up at all sorts of random hours because she hears him come and go at 5 a.m. She's also been teething and had a diaper rash, so she has wanted to be held non stop. It's like this entire week nothing has worked out for me.
All I want to do, is get the baby into her stroller and go for a walk. Tomorrow, my husband comes home at 3 pm and he's mowing the lawn. He can't watch her because he has to work, and mow the lawn, and he doesn't get up with her at all during the night because he has sleep apnea. It's ALL me. If this isn't a workout, I don't know what is. I am a full time, on call, 24/7 parent. I stay up for days on end with ZERO sleep while she is sick. I clean up after 2 grown men, an infant, and myself. I cook for a family of 4, I clean up after a family of 4, I wash dishes 3 times a day used by that same family. And, there are plenty of things I do that ARENT listed during the day. Do you see times listed where I can use the rest room? Do you see times listed where I spend 5 minutes checking my bank statement online? Most of my facebook/twitter happens from my phone after everyone's asleep!
The layout of my house is simple. One story, wood floors, vaulted ceilings. There is a horrible echo through the entire house. This week the baby is in one room, the grandpa is in the room across the hall, daddy is in the living room directly across from them, and my back room is just off the living room. If I sneeze, I will wake the family. I am just having a very, very stressful week. I know that these aren't reasons, I know that they're excuses, but I find it very difficult to work out when I have zero support, zero help, and zero place/way to do it. Next week WILL be better. This week has sucked monkey anyways. I am going to try my damndest to walk tomorrow, if it doesn't rain AGAIN! That, and if Emma is feeling alright, she did have 3 shots today. *sigh*
On a happier note, my daughters pediatrician looked me up and down once and told me that I looked like I'd lost a LOT of weight since I saw her last. (Hmm, is 14 pounds in 3 months a lot of weight?) That was damn near the only bright part of my day.
Oh and in case anyone was wondering why I wasn't blogging, or if anyone even noticed it's because I have had so much going on at home, and I've been so depressed with things lately that I just haven't made the time to get online. Honestly, I haven't had any me time in quite a while. Today I attempted to watch a movie and I had to stop it over 8 times just to get to the end. It took me about 6 hours to watch an hr long movie. That's how awesome my life is right now. I can't even enjoy a little down time. I feel like I'm always on the run, always on the move, always doing something. Cooking, cleaning, playing, running errands, laundry, dishes, doctors, stores, etc. We actually wore pedometers to walmart the other day and after we left we figured up that we had earned 1 activity point each. I don't know if that's awesome or depressing, because walking around walmart is how we kill time before coming back home while we grocery shop.
Okay, I'm seriously signing off now. I will find a way to work out again, even if it means doing yoga in the shower. lol. But for real, show the love. I desperately need it. And I know it's technically Friday but I will post a Fun loving Friday post in the morning/afternoon. This is just going to be my "lets pretend its still Thursday and cheat a little" blog post. :)
Peace, Love, and Bitching (Its what I do best)