Hunger

I am starting to feel like I did when I was a kid again. When I was 15 and younger, my friends used to joke that I was a bottomless pit. I could eat my weight in anything, and never gain a pound. I was 5'9, 125 lbs, and I thought I'd stay that way forever. Unfortunately, as is the story, I met a boy.

I spent the next 2 years dating this guy off and on. We never went anywhere or did anything to be active. We sat around my house or his eating ramen noodles, playing video games, and drinking at least 2 cases of soda per week. As you can guess, by the time we had broken up I was 2 years older, 45 pounds heavier, and 2 inches taller. It was a real eye opener.

The next few years my weight yo-yo'd all around. I would be fat, then thin. Fat, then thin. The cycle never ended. When I worked, I was thin. When it was warm out, I was thin. Once winter rolled around again I would inevitably put on twenty pounds. I think I gained and lost that same 20 pounds a dozen times or more.

In February of 2007, I found out I was pregnant. I was 5'11, and 190 pounds. I didn't look bad at all, and most people thought I was lying when I said I was 190. Sometimes I would even tell them I was 175 and they would totally believe me. Now I understand why women lie about their age/weight sometimes. Luckily, that isn't who I am anymore.

When I realized I was pregnant, I thought it was a free pass. I ate all I wanted, whenever I wanted, and if I gained weight I just figured that was fine. I never wanted to get as big as I did, and 35 lbs of that was from pre-eclampsia and water weight. Sadly, I did gain my own 40 lbs from eating like a piggy. I think I probably had fast food three times a week when I first found out I was pregnant, because the living situation I was in didn't really allow for us to cook meals at home. (We lived in an RV for a short time while apartment hunting in Florida.) By the time we had moved back to Cookeville, the foods I was eating had improved, but the amount I was eating had not.

In October 2008 I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Regardless of how much I ate she only weighed 6 lbs, 14 oz. She was and still is amazing. I lost 35 pounds of water weight before leaving the hospital 2 days later, and another 15-20 pounds in the few months following her birth. I am now back under my pre baby weight, and yet my body looks like a war zone. I will be fighting for the next year or two in order to find myself again. I need to reclaim my body, and joining weight watchers is exactly what I did to help me achieve that goal. I want to be happy with who I am as a person both inside and out, and I think that i'm taking the proper steps to ensure that happens.

I am down to 3 meals a day, and usually 3 snacks. I take vitamins, drink water, and do some form of movement every day. (Even if its just walking around the house!) I am getting better at working out more, and I'm trying to re-evaluate my meals so I can get in all of my recommended food groups, but its rough. I only have 29 pts to work with, and that makes for a hard time creating meals + snacks. (Feel free to post suggestions.) Really, I'm hoping that the reason I'm constantly hungry all of a sudden, is because my metabolism is working the way it should once again. A girl can dream right?

Peace, Love, and Rambling Blogs
Sarah V.