Breaking Down.

This is a blog about mental/physical/emotional health.

Let me tell you a bit of a story. Actually, let me tell you several small random things and classify them as a story. Okay?

When I was eighteen years old I was diagnosed as Bipolar 1. I know that these days the phrase "bipolar" is used to classify someone who is being bitchy, but it's so much more than that. I was medicated for 2 years, and the day I realized I was taking 8 pills (medicine 3x a day, 4tranquelizers, and b/c) a day to live a 'normal' life, I stopped medicating. My therapist, medical management team, and friends all warned me it was a bad idea. I figured If I could live 18 years without knowing about it or being on medication, I could do it again. So, for the past nearly 4 years, I have proudly been medication free. (Although, to be safe my obgyn did prescribe me some medication while I was pregnant because I was at a high risk for postpartum depression.)

I had gotten really well at controlling my episodes. I'd gotten really well at stuffing my feelings down into my stomach as far as I could, and then putting food on top of them. I wasn't feeling particularly proud of my actions, but I knew they were working to keep me sane. Well-I thought they were working.. And then last night happened.

Last night, I had my first bipolar breakdown since August 2008. (When I was 7 months pregnant.) I tried to fight what I knew was coming, but it wasn't happening. I did my best to just let the feelings pass, but I could suddenly feel them building in my chest and throat. It's the hardest feeling in the world to explain to someone, so I won't really try. Just know, that it's a feeling you'd know if you'd ever had the misfortune of dealing with it. I felt like I had swallowed a handful of poison. My heart was racing, my head was spinning, I was breathing rapidly, and suddenly I panicked. I had to get up, I had to pace, I had to walk around the room. I had to make sure the doors were shut, the drawers were shut, I had to. I just had to. My husband asked me what was going on, because he luckily hasn't dealt with many of my episodes.

Something you should know is that I am greatly ashamed of my disorder. Not so much my disorder, as the difficult time I've had controlling it. My mind is taking over my body and making me do things I don't want to do. It's making me feel things I'd rather not feel. Worst of all, during an episode I suddenly crave the very isolation that has been depressing me to begin with.

I wanted to be in a small space so I decided to lay down on the floor between the wall and bed. My husband came over and sat down next to me. I realized that the past years worth of hiding, eating, hiding, eating, hiding, and eating my feelings were coming back to haunt me. I spent the next three hours crying to my husband. I kept my face covered with my hands the entire time, because I didn't want him to see the embarassment on my face. We had been having severe issues lately, and we tried to talk them out for the better part of the evening. (Actually, we were up until 2 am.)

When I felt my episode was wearing off, I just felt like the life had been drained out of me. It's a feeling like the one you get just before you get drunk. Your eyes dart but it feels like slow motion. It's just where everything seems louder, fuzzier, and slower. It's like a buzz without the drugs or alcohol. I hate it. And then, suddenly my body goes numb. I feel like a rock, I weight a thousand pounds, and I can no longer keep my eyes open. I laid down in bed next to my husband as he held me and apologized for not understanding how to help me. He held me close and told me how much he loved me. We drifted off to sleep.

I woke up today feeling horrible. I felt hungover, exhausted, and depressed. My husband realized that I needed some extra TLC and he let me nap for an hour and a half while he took care of the baby. We talked about everything that I had been biting my tongue about, and everything I had been stressing over. We came to the generalization that our marriage will not be able to live up to its full potential until the following things happen:
1. We go back to school
2. I get a job outside of the house (so I can make some friends, and help support us until he gets a full time job.)
3. We have to move away from this town. It sucks the life out of us.
4. We NEED our OWN place. I can no longer take the feelings of his father into consideration, because this arrangement is ruining our marriage. LITERALLY.
5. We need more us time.

With all of those thoughts in mind, we've set a plan in motion. We are planning on going to school online (sigh, how many times have you heard this? it'll happen when we know what town we're goin to live in) and then I'm goin to start looking for work when we get wherever it is we're going. Obviously, number three is covered. So, once we start working, and goin to school we'll set money aside for a down payment. We also discussed spending more time together. You all may or may not have noticed I've been offline more. I have been making an effort to spend more time with my family, and less time online. Sorry guys. That means less blogging, less chatting, but not less working out.

Okay, that's a lie. I haven't worked out this week much. I hurt my arm on Monday and I don't really know what I did. It was fine until Tuesday when I woke up and it suddenly felt like I destroyed my entire body. I wince in pain when I'm lifting my daughter, but I've been taking excedrin hoping that it will help. (It does briefly.)So today, as a compromise my husband took me to the mall for 2 hours, and we went to the park for an hour with the baby. That's 3 hours of slow paced walking. I just figure it's better than nothing. Tomorrow I will do my elliptical, and I'm really thinking about taking up running once I hit 185! We'll see.

I know this blog is random and unexpected, but the point is that I have to worry about taking care of myself first. I need to be mentally fit, as well as physically. It's taxing for anyone to think about weight loss all the time, but on top of that I live with my father in law, I am without a job, without a degree, without a car, and fully dependent on my husband. We are trying to fix all of those situations as they come, but its really difficult. I wish I could just work out to forget everything that was happening in my life, but it doesn't work that way. I am the sole care taker of my daughter 75% of the day. That means I can't just throw her in her room and go downstairs for 30 minutes. I can't work out during naptime, because the walls are so thin she can hear us. I have to improvise and do what I can, when I can.

For a while, I will be concentrating more on my mental and emotional well being. I will still be doing weight watchers, and taking care of myself in that aspect, but I can't work out as much as I'd like right now. I will try to get back on track next week, for now.......I need a break. Plus, what kind of mommy would I be if I were always tired and crabby and a little bit crazy??

And hey, you learned something new about me today. (well, most of you!) So, hopefully everything will work out and I won't have another crazy spell anytime soon. I hate them, and they make me feel icky. So, for now

HAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPY THOUGHTS PEOPLE!

Peace, Love, and Subway Sandwiches
<3 Sarah V. <3

Video Time...

Ignore my lazy eye. This is what mommys with little to no sleep look like.......
Also, I'm crazy. I hope you've figured that out by now?

The Mondays.

I have another case of the Mondays. It's rainy outside for the hundredth (4th) time this week, and I'm getting thoroughly annoyed by it. I'm usually okay with spring and summer rains. I like warm rain, happy rain, rain that smells good, refreshing rains, and so fourth. I'm not lucky enough to have that nice rain. Oh no, I have freezing rain, that makes everything wet, cold, slippery, and frozen. We had to use our ice scraper yesterday to get the rain and frost off the car. Boo! Mr. Sunshine, where are you?

In happier news, we are getting ready to go to Wal-mart and/or K-mart to get Emma's Easter goodies. I have no idea what to get for her this year, but we'll figure it out when we get there. I want to get her some tadoodles crayons, and let her draw in her high chair. Lately she's been scribbling with regular crayons, so I think she's probably ready for them. She just has trouble holding regular crayons yet. So, we'll see if they have any left. She has just gotten an entire seasons worth of clothes, and 3 new pairs of shoes too! I doubt she'll get a lot this year. I'm going to put my pedometer on when we head out the door. I usually spend a few hours shopping, and driving Andrew insane. I wonder how far we'll walk. My hubby has been wearing his every day. It turns out he walks about 10,000 steps just at work alone, when he's not cashiering. Yay hubby! <3


After I got out of the shower this morning, I threw my mom jeans in the hamper and raided the closet. I put on some non-mom jeans and a purple tshirt. I feel so unbelievably naked, and I feel like I look horrible. I'm trying to push those thoughts from my head but its unbelievably difficult. I have spent almost 2 years hiding my stomach, so my mind has to catch up with my body. I don't look great, but I look better. I have noticed that I complain a lot less about my weight now that I'm actually doing something about it. So, that's a plus! If it's cold I might throw on a sweatshirt anyways...but, I'm trying extra hard not to. Baby steps here people, baby steps. I'm not ready to show my body in normal clothes. I just want to hop into a body hiding outfit, and run off. Hell, I'd probably go out in a snuggie because its baggy enough to hide my body. Well, two snuggies..gotta keep that back side covered.

Luckily, I'm still doing really well on plan. I managed to get in all my points yesterday, and end the day with one girl scout cookie. The day before I had 4 pts left. Its hard to get everything in sometimes. Today when I got up, I was exhausted and it was late morning. Emma woke me up at 545 and I had to sleep on the couch with her on my chest. It was awkward, random, uncomfy sleep for a while. We got up at 9 this morning, which was late for us. After my shower I decided that it was too late for a huge breakfast so I had a cup of milk, strawberry banana yogurt, and a banana on the side. Yes, banana yogurt WITH a banana. I'm weird like that I suppose. It was mighty tasty. Plus it was only 5 pts! Im making seasoned pork chops for dinner with mashed potatos and green beans, so I have to save up some points today!

Well, my daughter is running around getting into everything so I'd better get off here. I have to go fix my hair before we leave anyways. I will keep you all updated on relevant things as they occur. This blog was absolutely about nothing. Oh, and if you haven't seen it yet, and enjoy Niel Patrick Harris....well then, you better watch Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog. It was awesome.

Peace, Love, and Crazy Random Happenstances
Sarah V.


P.s. I talked another friend into doing Jillian, and she loves it. Thanks Quinn!

Exhaustion...

I woke up at eight am this morning. I don't know why, but I was completely and utterly exhausted. Okay, that's not entirely true. I know why. I have a horrible habit of staying up late to watch movies on Saturday nights. You see, my husband works overnights on Saturdays. So, that's the one night I get to stay up late, watch chick flicks, and enjoy my alone time. He absolutely REFUSES to watch movies with me, so that's why I watch them while he's not home! Well, last night I ended up wathing movies until two am. Whoops. The worst part is that it was a movie I'd seen numerous times, and it wasn't even interesting. I just picked a movie I figured I'd fall asleep to without caring. (Damn you Freddie Prinze Jr. for keeping my attention!)

So, after going to bed at two, I wake up to a crying baby at three. I let her cry herself back to sleep for a bit, because I've learned from experience if I don't, then it just gets twice as hard to lay her back down. So, I was up again until 3:30 making sure she went back to bed. By the time eight a.m. rolled around, I was exhausted. I ended up laying down on the couch and sleeping until 8:45 while Emma played. I finally got up around 9 to feed myself and Emma. She is really fussy today from waking up so much last night, and I may nap while she naps.

The point of all this, is that I'm paying the price today. I had been feeling great lately. Going to bed around eleven, and getting up at eight wasn't bothering me. I actually had energy to burn! I have eaten my food regularly, but I forgot to finish my last 4pts last night. Then staying up all night really effed up my bodies usual routine. I have taken my vitamin, and I've eaten breakfast trying to get my body to wake up. It hasn't, and now I have one of those headaches you get when you are up all night tossing and turning. I am grumpy, cranky, crabby, whatever you want to call it. I'm just pissy today.

I'm tired of this rainy weather, I want to get outside. I want my damn car fixed so I can drive my daughter to the park and walk the track. I want to find a job, and get back into school. I want to have a life again outside of this house. I can't even workout because my husband will sleep until 5 today, my father in law is hiding in HIS room, and my daughter is running around like a chicken with her head cut off. Today is one of those days I really want to say to hell with it, and quit. I want to sit on the couch, grab a Dr. Pepper, a bag of potato chips, veg out and stare at the t.v. Luckily, I won't do that. I forced myself to get up, get my tracker, measure my food, and enjoy it. I'm glad I did that, because I could have easily fallen off the band wagon, but I didn't. So, instead...I'm going to sit on the couch in my hot pink robe, watch tv, and veg without the food. Is that possible? I don't know, but I'm doing it.

Peace, Love, and Pink Robes
Sarah V.

My First Week On Plan....

**I'm So Excited!!**

Today was my first official weigh in on plan. Well, minus the initial "this is how much you weigh" meeting. I mean, Today was my first weigh in since starting the actual plan. I was amazed at how well I did. I lost 3.5 pounds in 7 days. Considering that I went over my points three times this week, I was pretty shocked. I honestly didn't think I'd lost anything!! My pants are FALLING OFF. If I can keep up a 1-2 lb loss weekly, I might be in my pre-baby jeans again by the summer. Plus, I did 8 points worth of working out this week too. I'm sure that helped! I even lost an inch in my 40DDD's. Lol! My bra is loose and rubbing me weirdly now
but hey, maybe i'll get back down into the double d's again. Woohoo!

We spent the majority of the week estimating how much our meat was. We didn't have a scale to weigh our food, so we just eyeballed it. We must have been doing better than we realized to have done such a good job. We did go ahead and buy a $15 food scale today. Andrew wanted to get the electric scale, but honestly, we can't afford $50 on a food scale at the moment. It's hard enough spending $85 a month for W.W. alone. So far though, it's worth it. Today we are going out for a celebratory lunch at Applebees. They have a w.w. menu for anyone who wasn't aware of that. Hooray celebration!

Oh and for anybody who may be keeping track, I'm back UNDER 200 again. Thank god. At today's weigh in I was 198.5. I came home and got on MY scale just to see if it was accurate, and what do you know-IT WASNT. All those times I was beating myself up, it wasn't even the right weight. I even tried to weigh the baby and her weight was off. Its a digital scale so I have no idea how to calibrate it. My scale told me this morning that I weighed over a pound more than the weight watchers scale said. Maybe I should save up for a weight watchers scale? Right now, I'm just going to continue ignoring my scale. Obviously, it's a big fat liar anyways! How can I ever trust it again?

Also, as many of you know my husband joined weight watchers with me. He beat me in weight loss this week, with a FIVE AND A HALF pound loss. He hasn't done a single bit of exercise, and I have worked my butt off. (Moderately.) That just goes to show that our bodies work differently. I am so stoked now. I keep thinking about the day the scale reads 195 (PRE BABY WEIGHT IS ONLY THREE LBS AWAY!) And then.....190.........185........180........and so forth. I still havent officially decided on my 'goal weight.' I'm not sure how thin is too thin for me. Maybe you could help me with that?

I'm 5'11
198 lbs
and my "beginning measurements" when I started plan were
42
33
42.

Yes, I am an hourglass shape. All the time I've been working out I see so much weight disappearing from my waist, and no where else. Its making me feel like I've got giant hips now, but I'm okay with that. Honestly, I've always had giant hips. They recommend that the highest weight for my height is 179. I looked really healthy and skinny at 185. That is still technically over my bmi. I thought about 165, but that might be TOO thin for me. I might just aim for 180 for now, and re-evaluate as I watch my body change.

Thank you guys all so much for being here with me through this. I don't know how many of you read this anymore because the comments have been few and far between (except Quinns *cough slackers cough* jk.) So I hope you are all still reading. I couldn't do this without you. I couldn't feel as supported as I do if it weren't for you guys, my readers, my friends. Your words encourage me to keep going. Your blogs motivate me to get off my ass, and get moving. (If you can workout while home alone with your kids, why can't I? If you can manage to get up and go for a walk even though you don't want to, why can't I?) Thank you guys for being so supportive of all that I do.

Peace, Love, and Baggy Pants
Sarah V.

Things You Love Friday!

I almost forgot that it was Friday. Okay, I lied. I did forget it was Friday. When you're a s.a.h.m. all the days blend together. Anyways, I almost didn't remember to post my things you love friday blog, until I saw Quinn had posted hers.

Todays thing I love is:
**Springtime**

I have a slight obsession with the scent of springtime. You step outside, and take a deep breath...suddenly your mind triggers back to a million memories from your youth. You smile for a moment, take it all in, and open your eyes. Yep, it's springtime. Flowers are blooming, it's warming up, you can put away those pesky winter coats. I love it. I love summer even more, but only because I love to swim! The only downfall of Spring is the eternal rain. I don't mind rain on occasion, and I even like it sometimes. Lately its been non stop. Please give me back a warm spring day so that I can rush outside again to enjoy it.

This has been your random blog posting on things I love

Brought to you by the number 11
Sarah V.

The Best and Worst...

Well, since this was my first week ever on weight watchers I decided to give you all a little taste of how things went. I am going to post my BEST and WORST days this week for points. Maybe you'll get an idea of how I eat, what I eat, and why I need to change how and what I eat.

The worst day was day 1. My father in law took us to Cracker Barrel. We TRIED to eat sensibly, and failed miserably. Let's recap.

WORST DAY
I start each day with 30 points. So, follow along.
Breakfast:
Smoothie=1pt
Banana=1pt

Lunch:
6 inch sub w/lettuce, light mayo, black olives=9 pts

Cracker barrel: mid-afternoon (my father in law insisted on taking us out to eat to celebrate our joining w.w. even though we had each already had a sub 3 hours prior. This "lunch" took place at around 3 pm)
fish 3 oz=3 pts
green beans=1pt
hasbrown casserole=4 pts
mashed potatos w/gravy=6pts
1 Corn bread muffin=4 pts
Butter=1pt
Hot fudge sundae/1 cup=4pts

This is 30pts gone by 3 pm.
I am now at -4 pts


6 pm=Orange Juice=1 pt
8 pm=F.I.L bring home chocolate easter egg=2pts

So this was my 'worst' day on the weight watchers plan. I went -7 points over.
(we get 35 weekly points, but for the amount of food I ate this day, and how early I had used up all my points, it was a big fail.)


This is my BEST day on the weight watchers plan:

Breakfast:
Orange juice=2pts
Bagel w/cream cheese=4pts
yogurt=1pt

Lunch:
Smartone pizza anytizers=5pts
1c. milk=3pts

Supper:
Chicken tender=4pts
Peas=1pt
Potatos=2pt

Before bed snack:
Bagel w/cream cheese=4 pts
2 Tag along cookies=4pts

This gave me exactly 30 points. I did not go over, yay! I got 3 out of 5 servings of veggies, all of my liquid/water, 1 out of three milks, my whole grains, and my gummy multi vitamin all in on that day.


I have also used eight of my activity points and I have 16 weekly "bonus" points remaining until tomorrow. However, I don't want to binge tonight and undo a whole week of work by eating those "bonus" points. I may in fact, use a few tonight on a root beer (long story) and the rest will be lost forever in a dark abyss.


So lets hope for a weight loss tomorrow. I will be happy with ANY weight loss at all. One pound? One half pound? Two pounds? My belt has been a whole notch tighter these past 2 days, as has my husbands. He is wishing for a 5 lb loss, but I'm thinking he may be at 2. Wish us luck.

Peace, Love, and Bagels
Sarah V.

So many blogs, so little time...

This is what happens when I blog first thing in the morning. By the end of the day, I have more to write!! I just wanted to let everyone know that after a busy day filled with rain, I still managed to get in my Jillian! It wasn't looking promising after the grocery store, hanging out with friends, giving the baby a nap, etc. Luckily, my husband agreed to take the baby into her room for 20 minutes while I did my workout. He makes fun of me saying it sounds like I'm stomping around all over the place, but hey-its cardio! You have to jump.

I'm really proud of myself for having gotten my workout in, when I could have (and almost did) easily forget about it. Plus, today is one of those lazy dreary days we all dread, so at 9 am I put chicken in the crock pot to make pulled chicken for dinner tonight. Yummo. I'm excited that I don't have to slave over a hot stove tonight. So hooray for that!! I'd also like to let you all know that I still haven't weighed in. I will probably cave on that one after my meeting Saturday. Andrew says I should only weight at the meetings because my scale and the W.w. scale will never be the same anyways. He's probably right. Let's just say, I'm a work in progress...

Only two more days until my first weigh in. I'm so nervous. I'm being really negative about it, and I'm disappointed in myself over it. I'm about to enter that one week a month every woman dreads, and I'm afraid that will mess with the scale too. I bloat so badly. :( (Tmi?) Anyways, my husband told me I already look thinner, and I hope so. I have worked out for about an hour this week, which doesn't sound like much but when you add in all of the baby chasing, random dancing (heyyy icarly) and other little things I do it's probably more. Next week I am going to try to get in 20 minutes a day of any type of workout. I don't want to set myself to a specific schedule because things change. So, lets hope that I can just get in my activity points.

Right now, it's dinner time and I'm OH so sweaty. I need to hop in the shower, serve dinner, track points, bathe infant, put her to bed, and then have a little sweet, sweet, sweet down time. OH, and maybe a banana.

Peace, Love, and Death by Jillian
Sarah V.

Encouragement

Last night I was on webcam with my good friend Quinn, and she told me she could tell I looked thinner. She is the FIRST person to tell me that. I don't go anywhere or know anyone in my town, so it's just the hubby and I. His father in law is so oblivious he didnt even notice when I cut off all my hair last time. He just thought it was
"parted differently."

When she told me she could tell I looked thinner, I looked down at my webcam. I never believe it when anyone tells me I look better, because the progress is so slow that I don't notice it myself. That's another reason I take so many pictures, and measurements. So, as I was saying..
I looked down at my webcam and asked myself:
Are you sucking in? -No.
Are you trying to hide yourself with angles? -No.
Are you blending into the background? -No.
Are we sure she had a clear, accurate view of you? -Yes.

So there you have it, the four questions I tried to honestly ask myself. I know they sound silly, but a lot of the time I self sabotage myself without ever really knowing or understanding why. I think its the mentality that if i am doing it to myself then I don't have to own up to the fact that I'm not doing as good of a job as I would like. Sure, I can just decide to quit at any given time, but I choose not to.  Last night was the first time in a long time where I didn't involuntarily suck my stomach in while trying to show someone what I looked like.

Yes, I'm guilty of doing it. When I go to get the mail and a car drives by, I suck it in. When I'm walking my daughter outside, and a couple walks past-I suck it in. I'm a gut sucker. It hurts, it's awkward, and I never realize it until I'm doing it. Then, what do you do? Do you let it go and show the world your flab? Or do you hold it, smile, and pray that they hurry past you? It's all so very random and awkward.

Quinn's words of encouragement are keeping me going. I woke up today after staying up until one with a teething child, and then looking out the window to see nothing but gray skies and rain. I was discouraged, and then I remembered that someone could tell a difference! Someone noticed my hard work paying off! Someone else could see what I can't. How exciting! Now, it's time to make sure that more people notice. That more people are proud of me. That I can be proud of myself!!

So I'm wondering...

1. Who encourages you?
2. What's your motivation?
3. How hard are you on yourself?
4. Do you feel better now that you're trying harder?
5. How much water do you drink?
6. Do you get your daily allowance of fruits and veggies?
7. Have you cut back on dairy?
8. What kind of vitamin do you take?
9. Why do you read/write blogs?
10. What is your type of workout?

My answers are:

1. My friends and family.
2. Seeing my jeans actually fit, wearing shorts, fitting into a bathing suit, not having to dig at the bottom of clothing piles for XL, etc.
3. I'm very hard on myself. I'm working on it.
4. YES! I wake up earlier, I have more energy. I feel like I'm doing something right!!
5. I drink roughly 60-100oz a day!!! (Not bad for someone who once hated water!)
6. I'm working on doing better. I usually get about half of my daily allowance, but next month WILL be better.
7. Dairy kills me now. If I drink even an 8 ounce glass of milk, my stomach churns for hours. I don't have much of it anymore.
8. One a day gummies! Hooray! :)
9. I read and write blogs for motivation, inspiration, encouragement, and to learn new things/meet new people.
10. My favorite type of workout is YOGA of course. (But I don't really count it as a work out anymore, because it's easy and feels sooo good.)

What are your answers?







And here are some randomly added blog photos! enjoy.

The proof is in the pictures:

 ^ March 17th ^

March 25th

What do you think? Also, here is a pic from when I started this in january...

Can you see a change? I think things are just toning up currently, but I'm down 10 pounds since January.

Peace, Love, and Teething babies!

Sarah V.

Yummy Chicken Recipe!!

So, I made this recipe tonight and it was awesome. I had it w/broccoli & cheese, and whole grain stuffing. The entire meal only totaled 6 points! (Chicken=3 pts for 4 oz, stuffing=2 pts for 1/2 cup, broccoli=0 pts for 1 cup, piece of cheese melted onto broccoli=1pt) Even if you're NOT on W.w. this is an AH-MAZE-ING (yes I spelled that wrong on purpose) Meal. Alright, go grab your pen and paper and get ready to write this down. Well, if you like chicken that is. If you don't, then you are dismissed.

Chicken In Mustard Sauce Recipe

What you will need:

1/2 teaspoon paprika

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon coarsely ground pepper

Four - 4 ounce skinned, boned chicken breast halves

cooking spray

1/4 cup dry white wine or low sodium chicken broth

1 1/2 tablespoons all purpose flour

3/4 cup 1% low fat milk, divided

1 tablespoon peppercorn mustard or regular prepared mustard. 

Cooking Directions:

Combine first three ingredients; sprinkle over chicken. Coat a non stick skillet with cooking spray; place over med/hi heat until hot. Add chicken; cook 3 to 5 minutes on each side, or until browned. Remove chicken from skillet and set aside.

Add wine or broth to skillet, deglaze by scraping particles that cling to bottom. Combine flour and 1/4 cup milk, stirring until smooth; add to skillet. Stir in remaining 1/2 cup milk and mustard. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until thickened. Return chicken to skillet. Bring to boil; cover, reduce heat and simmer 5 minutes or till chicken is done. Serve chicken with sauce

calories 163, fat 2.4g (sat. 0.7g), Protein 28.1g, carbs 5.1g, fiber 0.2g, cholesterol 68mg, sodium 356mg,

Exchanges: 4 very lean meat.

WW Points: 3 pt.

I should point out that I used the chicken broth and honey mustard for my sauce.  It turned out so well. The honey mustard really gave it a nice flavor. I would highly recommend using that instead of regular mustard. Well, unless you're a regular mustard fanatic, then go nuts! Enjoy!

(Recipe taken from This website.)

In other news, I did a ten minute workout on the elliptical tonight. It doesn't sound like much, but keeping my heart rate at 160+ for those 10 minutes really wiped me out. I was already tired and it was getting late, so I just decided 10 minutes was enough.  Of course, once I got off the elliptical I felt guilty, so I ran laps around the basement for a little while. It sounds silly, but do what you can when you can right? I even run in place once in a while! Just gotta get my body used to doing more than sitting on its booty all the time and I'll be in great shape! Only a few more days until my first weight watchers weigh in since joining. *gulp* I really don't feel like I've lost a single pound, or even a half pound. However, today I learned that I can take my pants off with the belt still on. Hopefully that counts for something. And yes, I did just stand in the bathroom and yank my pants down. They kept falling off my butt, so I was hoping that was a good sign. FINGERS CROSSED.

Peace, Love, and Strength

Sarah V.

FIT NOT FAT!!

Why I Want To Get Fit

1. I want to set a good example for my daughter.
2. I want to be able to buy jeans that sit comfortably at the waist, where they belong.
3. I want my shirts to fit my body, not hide my body.
4. I want to feel comfortable taking my daughter swimming.
5. I don't want to be "the fat friend" anymore.
6. I want to be proud of myself for losing the weight the healthy way.
7. I want my family to be proud of me for losing the weight the healthy way.
8. I want to have enough energy to get outside and get moving.
9. I want to workout without: feeling my stomach bounce during jumping jacks, losing my breath in the first 3 minutes of cardio, or feeling my stomach hit the ground during push ups.
10. I want to be happy with who I am as a person both inside AND out.

How I Managed To Get Fat 

1. I lived my life for someone else.
2. Depression/Isolation.
3. Mindless eating.
4. Not working out. (At all!)
5. Eating horrible for me foods.
6. GIANT portions.
7. Eating out twice a day, every day.
8. DR. PEPPER. (I hate to admit this one.)
9. Getting pregnant! (Pre-eclampsya & 35 pounds of swelling.)
10. Sitting online ALL. DAY. LONG. while I was home alone and the baby was asleep, because everyone else was at work, and I was using the "I just had a baby" excuse.

So there you have it. These are the top ten reasons and ways that I want to get fit, and the top ten reasons and ways I managed to get FAT. 

It's hard for a person to take a long hard look at themselves and admit that they were doing something wrong. I hear from so many people that being fat is in their genetics, that being fat is part of their lifestyle, that working out is too hard, that weight watchers is too expensive, and the list goes on and on. I'm going to rationalize with you the same way I did with myself. Are you ready?

• If its in your genetics to be fat, you can still be thin-if you work twice as hard.
• No healthy lifestyle is lead by an obese person. Obesity leads to a lot of undesirable side effects. (& just so you know, loss of libido is one of them!)
• Working out IS hard. It's not called vegging out, or easing out. No, its called WORKING out for a reason. You can't expect everyone to do the work for you. It's not as hard as you think. Go for a one mile walk three times a week to start. Do fifteen minutes of simple, feel good yoga. Get a fun wii game that you can play, enjoy, and still workout with. There are a lot of easy little steps to get you started!
• Yes, weight watchers is expensive. I know that not everyone wants to do weight watchers, so if this doesn't apply, simply skip ahead. However, if you've ever found yourself saying, "Oh my god, I would love to try weight watchers, but it's SO expensive." Listen to me... If you can afford to spend $40 a month on diet pills, you can afford weight watchers. If you can afford to go out to eat just ONCE a week, you can afford weight watchers. If you can afford to spend $10 a week on knick knacks, what nots, and whose a whats is-YOU can afford weight watchers!

As for me, It's not in my genetics to be fat. I don't enjoy a fat lifestyle. I LOATHE working out with all of my being. I spent six months convincing myself that the benefits of weight watchers outweighed the cost. And then-I blogged with the best of 'em for support and motivation, because I finally realized that I couldn't do this alone. 

I'm not going to lie, there have been times that I've wanted to take the easy way out. I used Alli a few years ago and it worked wonders, so a few weeks ago after complaining to my husband, he brought me home a starter pack. We spent $60 on it, and I am proud to say, I haven't taken any pills!

I honestly had every intention of adding a diet pill into my daily routine. I was hoping for a jump start, a little extra help if you will. I wanted those pills to be my leg up. Luckily, I realized that all those pills were going to do to me would be to hinder, not help in my weight loss journey. Even if I did lose weight, I wouldn't keep it off. Even if I tracked my food, only ate the recommended 19g of fat per meal, and had 3 pills a day, I wouldn't keep the weight off. No one should live like that. No one should have to worry daily about the side effects of diet pills. No one should have to remember to shovel tons of manufactured weight loss ingredients into their system. No, diet pills are evil people. Just remember, working out and eating smaller portions do a better job than popping that pill three times a day. So if you're taking diet pills now, STOP CHEATING YOURSELF! Put the pills away, dump them down the sink, give them to your annoying friend and let her deal with them, just stop cheating yourself. We can all do this together, if you're ready for the long haul?

...Well, are you?

Peace, Love, and Fiber One
Sarah V.

Motherhood And More...

I didn't get to do my Jillian work out today. Sad face. I was up all night with the baby last night. I couldn't figure out why, but even sleeping on my chest she woke up screaming every hour. I was exhausted, and she was clearly in pain. When I woke up with her this morning at 6, I saw a new tooth staring back at me. Her bottom right molar had poked through during the night. We wound up eating a great breakfast, and staying on track all day. Well, until supper. We made beef steaks, which put me 7 pts over for the day. Oh well, I used my extra weekly allowance, and didn't look back.

Around noon today, I put on my work out clothes. I rolled out my yoga mat, plugged in my wii, turned on your shape, and did 15 minutes of yoga. When I was finished, I reached for my hand weights and Jillian dvd. I was fully prepared, stretched, and ready to go. And then......the baby screamed.

Now, I know I said I would do Jillian on T-TH but sometimes things happen, and you just can't meet your goals. I had every intention of working out, and I really wanted to. I felt a ton better after yoga, but honestly...my child is the most important thing to me. When she's unhappy, as am I. When she hurts, my heart breaks. So, I turned off the tv, went to her room and cuddled with her. I ended up giving her lunch and spending the rest of the day playing with her and cleaning her room. At least I got in 15 minutes of yoga, and another 3 hours of moderate cleaning. It's better than nothing, and I plan on trying to get up earlier for Jillian next time.

Weight watchers update:
Today I stayed on track perfectly. I had extra points to spare until dinner rolled around. I opened the freezer and all I could find were chicken breasts and beef steaks. Last night we had chicken, so tonight..I opted for beef. I stabbed the beef steaks with a fork, rubbed both sides with mrs. dash seasoning, and poured a can of cream of mushroom over top. I covered it w/aluminum foil and baked at 350 for an hour. It turned out DELICIOUS. I also had broccoli and cheese pasta noodles. Bad idea. The pasta was 6 pts for 2/3 cup. There was no real nutritional value to it, so next time I will do minute rice and use the gravy from the beef as a topping. Anyways, the entire meal with milk included was 16 points. Ouch. I only had 12 left. So, I went over by 4...and then I had a fudge bar. Sometimes you just have to indulge a little! I still luckily have 20 weekly allowance points, so hooray!

In not so exciting news, I slipped up today and weighed myself. I was dying not knowing if my weight had changed. I realize that sounds silly because it's only been 4 days on the program, but I had to know. So today, I am putting my scale up, away, and out of sight. It is going to be stuffed in a drawer, the closet, or some other random place that I can't easily access on a whim. Let's just chalk it up to a bad day, and move on. Plus, Thursday is grocery day and I'm looking forward to getting what we can for the rest of the month that will be filling and make for better dinners. Wish me luck.

Peace, Love, and Fudge bars...
Sarah V.

P.s I blame Quinn for my ice cream craving!!!

Pain

Pain is weakness, leaving the body...


Yesterday I did my very first Jillian Michaels workout. My husband was at Nascar all day with his father, so I figured what better day to test out my new dvd? No one was around to watch me, no one was around to make fun of me, or to make me nervous. I put Emma in her high chair with some dried apple pieces and some meat sticks for lunch. (She's odd like that.)

After I got Emma locked and loaded, I went into the living room. I broke out the new yoga mat, the 4 lb hand weights, and the 30 day shred dvd. I grabbed a bottle of water, took the lid off, and set it directly in front of me on the tv stand. I knew you couldn't take a break on Jillian, so I kept my water super close to me. That way I could take a drink while I was doing my warm ups and stretches at the very least. I hadn't worked out at all in the past 8 weeks, and I sure as hell hadn't worked any of those muscles in years.

When I started the dvd and began doing the workout I thought, this doesn't seem so hard. Two minutes later, I was cursing Jillians name and begging her for mercy. Obviously she didn't give it to me. She told me that my ass needed to work HARDER. "HARDER JILLIAN? You want me to work harder? Whats wrong with you!" She then mocks me by telling me that 400 lb people can do these workouts, so I should be able to as well. [Touche Jillian, touche.]


It took every ounce of strength in my body, but I completed that 20 minute workout. I loved the ab workouts, the side lunges, and the stretches. On the other hand, I suck suck suck at strength. I can't do push ups for the life of me, AND cardio makes my chest burn like I've swallowed a flaming sword. I got light headed a few times, but that's probably to be expected after not working out for seven hundred years. (Yes, thats an accurate number.) Even after all that whining, bitching, and complaining-I finished. Let me tell you something, I'm so glad I did. I was covered in sweat, literally dripping from head to toe. It was awesome! I haven't had a workout like that in a veryyyyyyy long time.

So today, my body is very sore. I woke up and felt muscles that I didn't even know I had. Whats this? There are abs under my post-baby flab? My god, I never knew! I assumed they disintegrated somewhere under all that fleshy goodness. It's good to know that they're still there. Oh, and what's this? I have muscles in my thighs? Who knew?!? I found out just how sore my thighs were when I picked up my 25 pound daughter and squatted down to pick up her blankie. Oh lordy, I felt the burn. So, all in all my workout was awesome.

And in weight watchers news:
Yesterday I had the hardest time making all my points. Everyone keeps telling me that it's critical to eat all of your points every day. I didn't have trouble the first day because we went out to eat. I actually went over on day one, but it was our first day so we were still learning. Yesterday, I ended up having a banana, a vanilla latte drink, and a cereal bar as a late night snack just to meet all of my points. I'm hoping for an easier day today. I wound up eating 2 bagels yesterday, some yogurt, bananas, a smartones meal worth 5 pts (and it sucked) and a few other little things. I really need to get to the store to get some fresh fruits and veggies soon. I can't wait to get groceries next month. I also want to get a W.w. cookbook soon, but we'll see how that goes. Plus my Jillian workout counted for 3 activity points.

I'm trying to talk Andrew into going for our walk today, but go figure it's the one day of the week that its raining. It's also fifty degrees which he believes is too cold to have Emma out, so we'll see if he wants to walk this afternoon. If not I'll be doing my elliptical later. I have decided to do Jillian T&TH this week since I started it on Sunday. I will do my other little workouts throughout the week as previously mentioned.

Alright, I have to go now because as you probably noticed this blog is totally rambling. My husband is up and talking to me, the baby is running around my feet crying for breakfast, Dora the explorer is annoying me on the television, and while this blog post started off great with meaning, I'm just starting to suck at multi tasking!

Peace, Love, and Yoga mats
Sarah V.

Sarah Vs. The Scale

Well, I just read the blog post that JackSh*t wrote about how he has retired his scale for the month of March. I personally think that is a fantastic idea. I have become a slave to the scale for the past 2 months. I wake up, I pee, I weigh. Every day. I go to the bathroom mid day, I weigh. Then, I weigh at night. I freak out over the small gains that naturally occur throughout the day. So, I'm taking a page from Mr. JackSh*t's book. I'm going to retire the scale for the rest of March. Sure it's only a week, but I'm going to let the weight watchers scale tell me how I'm doing once a week. After all, what my scale says when I'm naked (198.8), and what the weight watchers scale says when I'm fully clothed (202) are two very different weights anyways. In fact, there is a 4 lb difference. If you ask me, that's quite a bit. (And who knows, Maybe I'll forget about my scale for the entire month of April as well!)

So, as of today I am retiring the scale. I am tired of weighing every single day. I think once a week is plenty good enough for now. Maybe after a few weeks I'll begin weighing again, but for now I don't want to think about it. It's hard enough trying to track everything I eat, without worrying about the numbers on the scale. I'm already skeptical about the program, and I'm hoping that next Saturday when I weigh in I will have lost even just one pound so that I know the program works for me. I also plan on starting walks and workouts this week. Yikes. Wish me luck jumping back into that lifestyle. It's been close to 2 months since my last workout. My knee feels like it has fully healed, and the swelling has gone down as well. With any luck, I can stretch and not hurt myself this time around!

So now I have no more excuses. I have no reason that I can't lose the rest of my baby weight. I know it's only a few pounds, but I was the heaviest I'd ever been before I got pregnant anyways. As I mentioned previously my goal weight is about 170 pounds. I am going to set a short goal to begin with. For now, the only number I'm worried about is 195. After that I will work my way down 5 pounds at a time, and try not to get discouraged. I don't think 5 lbs a month is a lot to ask for. If I lost a minimum of 5 pounds per month, it would only take me 6 months to lose the 30 that I want to lose. Fingers crossed for me.

A big thank you to Brooke for posting some tasty recipes over at her blog! I can't wait until our next grocery trip to get some canned pumpkin, and pumpkin spice so I can make her Pumpkin Pie Smoothie. I'm also looking forward to cracker crumb chicken. Mainly because I always have trouble with cooking chicken. I usually end up just frying it up on the stove or baking it in a rice casserole. I could definitely use a little change of pace with my cooking. So if any of you other blog readers out there have weight watchers recipes, please please please be sure to send them my way! (Savanord@live.com)

Well, that about does it for this lazy Sunday. I have started my day well with a 20 oz bottle of water, a warmed bagel, and 2 tbsp of w.w. whipped cream cheese. I am going to try some of my new yogurts for a snack, and I'm getting ready to make lunch for Emma and I. Here's hoping I can stay on point today. Andrew on the other hand, is at the Bristol races with his dad today. He is going to attempt to stay on plan, but at a race track where the food consists of hot dogs, hamburgers, popcorn, etc. it will definitely be difficult. He said he was going to do his best, so cross your fingers for him as well!

Peace, Love, and Naked toes
Sarah V.

Day One

So day one of Weight watchers sucked. I was doing an amazing job, until my father in law decided to take us out to eat. We went to cracker barrel and we both made what we felt were good decisions. I had catfish (3oz) and my husband had the lemon pepper trout. We both drank water instead of tea or soda, and we had veggies for sides. The grand total of points I ate JUST for lunch while following plan (green beans, mashed potatos, corn bread, water, fish) was 19! OUCH. I only get 30 a day! My husbands was even worse. His grand total was 35 points because he decided to order the double fudge coca cola cake and ice cream. The cake alone is 800 calories. GOOD LORD people! That's madness. I had a hot fudge sundae but only ate ONE CUP of it. That put my points to 23.

I'm kind of disappointed, but since it was our first day I am chalking it up to learning from our mistakes. My daily points allowance is 30 and as of right now I'm at 34. It's only 6 o'clock and I am going to consider our late lunch to be an early supper. Mainly because I actually had already eaten lunch, but my father in law wanted to take us out to 'celebrate' so badly that we didn't want to upset him. Of course we have 35 additional "weekly" spending points so we are just going to subtract that from this weeks points and call it good!

I also went to walmart and got some yogurt, oj, and bagels. Hopefully having food around to eat for breakfast will force me to keep remembering to actually EAT breakfast! So, that's just a little update on today. It was a family outing day because it was 73 degrees and sunny. I also took my daughter to get her first haircut. I can't believe she's almost 18 months old already. She was drinking out of a GLASS with a straw the entire time we were out to eat too. It made me sad to see how big she's getting, and happy at the same time.

Peace, Love, and Random Points Knowledge.
Sarah V.

Weight Watchers!

Thats right, you read that correctly. Today, my husband and I attended (and joined!) our first ever weight watchers meeting. It was interesting to say the least. To be honest, the day didn't start off so well. You see, last night my husband took his nyquil before bed to get over his nasty cold, and I took my unisom. We set our alarms for 745 because the meeting started at 9. That gave us plenty of time to get up, dressed, and to feed the baby. Unfortunately, I turned the alarm off......THREE TIMES! I woke up at 8:30, told Andrew to get up, and I threw on clothes. He told me there was no way we could be ready in 30 minutes, but we did it! I threw my hair into a messy pony tail and it didn't look sexy, but who cares? I made it to the meeting with time to spare while grandpa watched the baby!

I will tell you that I never thought I'd spend so much money at one meeting. I knew it would be expensive the first time I went because there were 2 of us. We qualified for the family plan, so we only paid $40 for both of us to go. That would have been fine, but then we wound up each buying some W.W. smoothies and Drew wanted a points clicker. Whoops, another $31! I keep telling myself it's all for the good of my health.

I weighed myself this morning when I got up as I usually do. I was naked, and had just gone potty. My scale read 198.8 pounds as usual. Sadly, the weight watchers scale didn't agree. It told me that while I was fully clothed (jeans, belt, shoes, heavy hoodie, etc) I weighed in at 202 lbs. Sigh. There's that 200 number again. Oh well, this is a learning experience right? RIGHT!

So we attended our meeting, and Andrew was pretty disappointed. He was the only male in the entire group. I think we were the youngest 2 there as well. I just reminded him that this was only ONE meeting, and that on any other given day another guy might show up. If nothing else, I said, he could talk one of his friends into going. He is pretty excited about his points allowance though, because he is starting out with 39 a day. As for me, well I get 30. I'm more than okay with that, and I can't wait to try new foods and recipes. A big shout out to BROOKE For answering all of my pesky little w.w. questions, and inspiring me through her blog. I would have never had the courage to do this without her. PLUS, I've always been a skeptic and Brooke is LIVING, BREATHING PROOF that this program really can do amazing things. (In case you didn't know, she's lost 100 lbs in a years time.) So here's a big round of applause for you Brooke. *claps*

Todays topic of conversation was portion control. My mouth hit the floor when I saw how much actual portion sizes were compared to what people usually eat. It's no WONDER America is so overweight. Look at the sizes we eat. Look at the portions restaurants give us. It's insane! Andrew and I vowed today that we would only eat off of our salad plates, instead of the 14 inch plates we have at the house. When we get our own place we are going to restock our dishes with smaller sizes. I also learned that we both need to drink more water (DUH!) and move more. We are starting 30 minute walks every day this Monday. I'm also going to be doing my other workouts. Hopefully that in combination with staying on track w/my points will help my weight loss.

I set my goal as 10% of my weight. According to my book, that is 20 pounds to start with. I am setting my lifetime goal as 170 lbs. That is a 30 lb loss. The woman who was leading today (Cindy) said that on average most people lose 2 lbs a week by eating smarter. I really hope that's the case. I could lose 20 lbs in just a few short months if that were true. I'm hoping that by my 25th birthday  I will be at my goal weight. (13 months!) So, wish me luck there. And if ANYONE has any weight watchers recipes PLEASE email them to me!! (Savanord@live.com)

So that was my experience today. I hope that I can continue going to the meetings, and stay on track. I'm looking forward to trying something new, and exciting. Keep your fingers crossed for my husband and I. We have just begun our journey on the weight loss path, and we need all the help we can get.

Peace, Love, and French Vanilla Smoothies
Sarah V.

Just For Quinn

I am writing this blog because Quinn has guilted me into it. So here you go Quinn, a blog post for you.

Last night I got the first full night of sleep I've had in weeks. I took a unisom, and slept in bed with my husband. we hadn't been sleeping together for the past week, so I think him being by my side is the other reason I slept so well. Hooray for sleep.

In other news, I implemented a new bedtime for myself and Andrew last night. We decided that every night we are going to bed between 11:30-12 o'clock. Yes, for us that's early. Usually we are up til 1-2, and then get up at 7 or 8 with the baby. Obviously, that's killing us both. We kept Emma up til 9 last night so she would go to bed, and then we went to sleep at midnight. I got nine amazingly wonderful hours of sleep. I feel like a new woman. So well rested. I even drug myself out of bed with the rest of the family instead of sleeping in like I usually do on Andrews days off. I even got up and IMMEDIATELY made the bed. (Which I never do, my bed is always a mess.) After I got up, made the bed, and went pee-I weighed myself.

I'm proud to say that I'm STILL under 200 lbs. This is the longest I've gone without yo-yoing back to 200 and down over and over again. I've been under 200 for just over a week now. I've been STEADILY weighing in at 198. If you recall when we began our challenge I was 207. I was 209 on Christmas when I began my wii workouts. That means I've lost just over ten pounds. I know it doesn't sound like much, but it's actually quite an achievement for me.

This Monday I will be starting my Jillian DVD. I think now that we all are doing it, we should post results monthly with pictures. It's just a thought though. Quinn doesn't even look like she's had a baby anymore! She's had amazing results with Jillian, and I hope I do too. I'm going to get my yoga mat and weights this weekend. I'm really nervous about starting Jillian. I hope that I can handle it, and that it doesn't hurt my knees. Im excited about getting back into a work out. The week that I was sick, I felt so emotionally and physically drained. I was worried I'd never get my strength back. I finally have regained my strength, and I'm looking forward to my routine. The plan as it sits is that I will be rotating between walks/yoga/wii/elliptical/jillian for my workouts. I can only do 5 days a week because I'm not able to work out on weekends with my current living arrangements. I MIGHT be able to do elliptical on weekends, but they recommend you give yourself a break once a week anyways. Maybe Sunday will be my break day.

So since everyone else keeps posting goals, I thought I'd list mine here as well...are you ready? Sure you are, read away!

• Short term weight loss goal: 185 lbs (that is a 13 lb loss)
• Long term weight loss goal: 165/170lbs 

• Short term food goal: 3 meals a day, 3 snacks a day. Goal calories: 1800 starting
• Long term food goal: learning to cook healthier meals that the entire family will eat.

• Short term workout goal: 3-5 days a week alternating workouts.
• Long term workout goal: 5-7 days a week alternating workouts.

• Short term personal goal: LESS time on the computer/cell phone
• Long term personal goal: MORE time outdoors playing with my daughter/walking.

So there you have it. This is a random blog post, brought to you by the letter S.
Peace, Love, and Flip Flops
Sarah V.

P.s. Today's high is 68 degrees, and I'm trying to talk the hubby into taking the baby to the park. Wish me luck because he feels like crap, and I doubt he'll agree to it.

I'm A Cheater!

 Okay, well I don't know if you could consider it cheating...but, I'm enjoying myself today. You see, I decided this morning that I would POSTPONE my pills so that I could sneak some dairy. I decided to have some light lays potato chips with a little cheddar cheese dip. It was delicious! I took my pill afterwards and then I realized that OH NO, I never had any milk. I was so disappointed in myself for that. Darn milk cravings.

Anyways, today has been an interesting food day. I was up until 2 am this morning, and my daughter woke me up at 5. We played in my bed til 6 when I finally had to put her back to sleep so she'd stop kicking me in the head. I woke up to her crying at 10:30 for me to get her up. I had to pry my eye lids open, I couldn't get any strength, but once I managed to look at my cell phone clock I nearly panicked. How could I have slept so late? Why didn't anyone wake me? Is everything okay?

I drug myself out of bed to go pick up the baby. On the way to her room, I passed my snoring husband who was still asleep on the couch from last night. He has had a cold, and didn't want me to catch it since I just got over bronchitis. Emma and I stayed in bed until 11 goofing off, and then I got her breakfast. (She had milk right when I got her up.)

By the time we got back up and into the kitchen, we saw that daddy was awake too. I didn't feel like cooking, so I decided to make a chicken salad sandwhich. This is where the trouble began. First of all, we used real mayo. Ugh-calories galore. Second of all, that was all I had to eat for lunch! Throughout the day I wound up grazing, which is never a good thing. By the nights end I had eaten the following....

3 Chicken salad sandhiches (lunch/supper/snack)
1 Large Angel Food Smoothie (From Smoothie King)
1/2 Bag Vanilla Creme Brulee rice cakes
1 Bowl of 1/2 fat light lays chips w/1 cup frito lay cheese dip
1 Cup mixed fruit (pre-packaged sadly)
1/2 glass gingerale (ew!)
1 water
1/2 banana

You see, I didn't eat a lot of BAD foods, but I had a lot OF food. I'm kind of sad about it, because I'd been doing so well. The lack of water I had today was not helpful either. I'm never hungry after dinner anymore, and here it is a quarter past nine and I was eating a chicken salad sandwich. I'm so disappointed.

HOWEVER.....
I got my Jillian Michaels 30 day shred DVD, AND my Enell sports bra. I can't wait until Monday. I'm going to start my new diet/workout routine. That's why this weekend is my "somewhat binge" weekend. I'm going to eat when Im hungry, but I'm going to do it in a healthy manner so I don't undo all of my current hard work. I have to run to ROSS this weekend for a yoga mat and some smaller weights, because 8 lbs is far too much for starting. I think I will get 3 or 4's to start. I haven't decided yet. I just know that I'm ready for these mom "bat wings" to say buh bye, and for this mom gut to disappear. So--Get ready cause starting Monday it will be back to the old blogs that were filled with work out pics, food topics, and all sorts of other health related what not. I know you've missed it, so it's coming back. I will also be sure to REVIEW the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred DVD on day 30. So, watch for that as well.

Peace, Love, and Real Frigging Mayo
Sarah V.

Is There An Echo....

Helloooooo?
Hellooooo-o-oo

Anyone? Is there anyone out there? I swear, sometimes it's like I'm talking to a wall. Hey you, yes YOU there reading these words, could you do me a favor and let me know you're still alive and out there?

Its 2 am and i'm wide awake. DAMN YOU TIME CHANGE.
Ugh.
This was the most pointless blog post ever, but I have a favor to ask of everyone...

I have 5 days left on my no dairy diet. It seems my pills last a bit longer than I'd expected, SO....I haven't been eating. No, this is bad...this is very bad. Today I had a bowl of popcorn, a fruit cup, two bites of toast, and some doritos. Yeah, its that bad. So please, help me out guys. Send me a little inspiration, some help if you could.

As of right now I can't have any dairy, vitamins, ant acids, or SUNLIGHT. So don't suggest that I throw my gummy vitamins in a pan of milk and bake them in the sun for an hour, because that won't work. I just need something to get me by for another week. I don't know how the lactose intolerant do it! I am DYING without milk and cheese. I have a carton of silk in my fridge, but I'm not really a fan. I will drink it if I must, but lately it's been STRICTLY WATER. I'm losing my mind.

Wanna help a sister out?
Also, can you tell its late and I'm getting loopy? Just...wondering.

Peace, Love, and The Overwhelming Desire For Cheese
Sarah V.

I Feel Old...

Hello there bloggers and blogettes!

I hope everyone is having a fantastic Tuesday. I was up all night tossing, turning. I kept dreaming I was suffocating, and then I would wake up under the covers, or with my pillow over my face. It was fine at first, but it happened repeatedly through the night, and it just plain got annoying. It didn't help that I put on 3 of my favorite shows before bedtime, all of which are an hour long. I wound up laying in bed, in the dark, texting Quinn instead of sleeping.

When I woke up this morning, I was actually feeling productive. I got out of bed, and got the baby up. I poured her a sippy cup of milk, got out some bread, and a carton of egg beaters. I made everyone else a breakfast of eggs and toast. I still can't have dairy, so I just had a fruit cup with my medicine. It was delicious, but there's not much substance in a fruit cup.

In other news, my medicine is almost gone. I have two days left of my steroids, and probably another 4 of my other medicine. I can't have dairy or vitamins with my pills, and I think that's whats really screwing with me. I had began taking vitamins last month, and was doing really well with them. I was taking the adult one a day vitamins, and they really were making me feel better.  I have iron deficiency, and when it really acts up I crave fish, or other foods high in iron. I was noticing a drastic difference while I was taking my vitamins. More importantly, I miss milk. I just want a bowl of cereal. Just ONE! Apparently the calcium in dairy products counteracts the effects of my Ciprofloxacin, which nearly makes it completely ineffective. I don't want to eat a brick of cheese or anything, I just want a glass of milk. Why is that so much to ask? Whyyyyy. (Dramatically overreacts.)

I am looking forward to being 100% healthy again, because right now I am still only at about 85%. I'm tired all the time, and I have zero energy. I am totally run down, and that's not good. My husband HAD been doing a great job taking care of Emma and I both, but two nights ago He started to get sick. Fabulous. Emma had been doing better all week, and she seems to be coming down with a cold again. I think this has something to do with the fact that it was 65 degrees one day, 20 the next, 60 the following, snowing the next, and then raining all week. I wish the weather would just calm the frick down, and make up it's mind. So for now, I'm doing my best to take care of my family. The hubby slept on the couch last night, so I wasn't reinfected. Plus, he doesn't want his cold turning into anything worse. I'm so tired of everyone being SICK.

So, in my time of boredom last night, I decided to check out the twitterverse. I had set up an account last year when everyone else was raving about it, but I never could get into it. I just didn't see the point of it. Well, last night I got sucked in. I was following my favorite "celeb" (aka: Shane Dawson) and I was tweeting my friends. It was actually kind of fun. I'm not sure what the hype is about still, but it kills a little time. If you have a twitter, feel free to stalk me @savanord. And if you'd like to stalk me anywhere else, honestly, google me. You will get pages of results. I'm a computer geek.

I suppose that about does it for today's blog. I don't have a lot to say. Oh, except for this...
Last night at 10:30 p.m a woman randomly shows up on our doorstep. She has a few kids with her, and she's crying. She starts begging my husband for a ride over to some street on the other side of town. She told us that her husband was on his way to get her from Bristol, and that she is from Knoxville so she doesn't know her way around. Emma was asleep in bed, I was in the bedroom, and my hubby was sick on the couch. He explains to the woman that he has no way of fitting her entire family inside his tiny Kia Rio because the front door is broken, and there's a carseat in back. He offers to call someone for help, and she declines repeatedly. She begs him some more and says that her kids have already walked so far, so he once again offers to find her a ride. She tells him no, says that she understands, and continues walking. The part that freaked my husband out is that the children looked nothing like the woman, and that she absolutely refused a ride. He says that if she needed a ride from him, why couldn't she take a ride from someone he called to come help? It all seemed too suspicious. Just another reason that I don't feel comfortable on our street anymore. I am goin to keep my eyes peeled to make sure there are no missing children reports, or any other sad/scary news about them. I told my husband he was being rude, but he didn't get "good vibes" from the woman. I don't blame him, but I do feel somewhat guilty.

BUT-
On a happier note...
My baby brother turns NINE YEARS OLD TODAY. <3
(And now I officially feel old.)


Peace, Love, and Creepers
Sarah V.

Monday..

Ugh, it's here again. The dreaded Monday. This time change is kicking my ass, and I feel like I'm slacking on everything. I have 3 days left of my medication, and so far it's terrible. I feel much better, and I can speak again, but this stuff makes me nauseas all day long. I don't want to eat, workout, or do anything but rest. I am hoping that this time next week I can start busting my ass again.

I'm also noticing that my no dairy diet has made my stomach bloating go down considerably. I never had an issue with dairy until after I had Emma. Suddenly, my body goes haywire if I drink milk. I literally SWELL in the stomach. So, when I get better, I'm going to limit my dairy intake. I will have one cup to pour into my cereal, and one cup with dinner. Hopefully that will help a bit.

I am planning on starting a 30 day routine next Monday. I can't wait to get started. I will be sure to let everyone know how its going too. I am going to work out every day if it kills me. I think that for the first time in my life I'm actually EXCITED about working out. Plus, what better time to start than now? After all, I turn 24 next month, not 34. I'm young, I'm energetic, and I'm going to be spending a lot less time online, and a lot more time outside/working out.

But for now, I am going to go rest a little bit more.

Peace, Love, and Sleepy girls
Sarah V.

Flaws

Support

I would just like to take a moment here to thank all of you readers for your support. I know that no one has had a lot of time to comment each other lately, but know that I still read all of your blogs daily. They are bookmarked in my favorites folder.

It was brought to my attention today that while we all blog for our own personal reasons, no one has to read each others. We all do it by choice. We are here to help one another, and for that I thank you. I don't have a perfect life. I don't have a perfect body, a perfect marriage, a perfect family, or a perfect friendship. Luckily, I have you guys. You are the perfect support system. Is it just about weight loss? No. It's about so much more than that. You're a family to me, and I appreciate everything you say to me. I drink in every word and savor the taste.

You are all my sanity. You keep me happy. You keep me hopeful. You tell me that I can do things, when I'm not sure I can. You are my greatest supporters. Just as I am your greatest supports. I believe that together we can get through anything.

Not everyone approves of blog writing. I was let on to that fact today. I was informed that blogs and vlogs fry your brains. Someone should tell Shane Dawson because he got famous for doing blogs, vlogs, and youtube videos! Regardless, thank you all for being there for me. For reading the things I write. For being true friends, and supporting the things that I do. Thank you for believing in me.

Thank you for BLOGGING.

Sarah V.

The Plan

"Okay, so here's the plan!!"
-Okay, what is it?
"I have no idea...."

That used to be how any conversation with me would start. I would have a plan in mind, but at the last minute I decided that plan was stupid. Well, today I have devised a plan. I think.....

Once the magic powers of modern day medicine heal me, I am going to start a 30 day plan. Maybe after 30 days, I will continue on to 60, 90, and who knows maybe 365 days a year! Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves. I'm planning a 30 day routine. I am going to work out every day for 30 days. Quinn finally talked me into buying the Jillian Michaels 30 day shred. Do I think I'll be able to handle this every day? Oh god no. Not at first anyways, but I'll give it a shot. I'm going to do it on the days that I feel like I can, and on the days I can't I'm going to do 20 minutes on my elliptical. If that too fails, I will do a routine on my Your Shape game.

This plan gives me three separate ways to work out.  I can't complain about boredom or repetition this way. I can't find an excuse not to do anything, because even if all else fails, I can walk for half an hour. I am ready to get serious about weight loss again. This month has been absolutely terrible in terms of sick family members. I can only hope that no one else gets sick this spring, or I might lose my mind. No, I will lose my mind, I'm sure of it.

So there you have it, my plan is to work out every day for 30 days in some way, shape, or form. I am also eating better, forcing water down my throat like I'm a dying fish, and thanks to this medication I'm currently off of dairy products. I don't know why exactly, but you just don't screw around when the warning label is printed in all caps.

I will keep you all posted as to when my 30 day journey will begin. Let's hope I see results as fast as Quinn did. Let's hope that my mom flab will be fat blasted. And let's hope that I can stick to a healthy eating plan, without breaking down. But, for now.......my medication has decided that I should probably go attempt to throw up again. I'm not sure which is worse, the bronchitis itself, or the medication I'm taking that prohibits me from vitamins, dairy, antacids, sunlight, and is making me have to vomit. I just remind myself that things can only get so bad, before they have to get better.

Peace, Love, and Methylprednisolone
Sarah V.

I'm Obsessing...

I'm obsessing and that's not a good thing. I get on this kick every now and again where I have to obsess over whatever goal it is I'm trying to achieve. I have been doing a really good job of staying off the scale. I took some new pictures of myself and thought that I was looking pretty good...and then, the mail came.

You see, last week I ordered online from Victorias Secret. It was the first time in my entire life I'd ever ordered or bought anything from them. I got the cutest underwear I'd ever seen, and I was nervous about it fitting. When It got here today, I excitedly and nervously tore into the packaging. I went into the bathroom to try one one of the five pairs I'd ordered. Surprise! They fit. I was excited, but only for a moment. The lacey top suddenly crept down slowly. Down it went, further and further until it had rolled beneath the crease of my post baby belly. Suddenly, I didn't feel so good about myself.

I got online today, and before I had even realized it an hour had passed. I had been on google typing in things like "post baby belly" or "saggy stomachs." I was researching and reading about what people did to get rid of this nasty dilemma. Do I look good with my clothes on? Sometimes. Am I getting more comfortable about myself while I'm wearing clothes? Hell yes. Am I comfortable while I'm naked? ...no, I want to grab the covers, wrap myself up like a burrito, crawl into the closet, and cry for days.

I stood in front of the mirror wearing my new favorite pink tank top, a green jacket, and my mom jeans that give me a saggy ass. I thought about how much better I was looking, and how good it felt to be 198 pounds again. I looked at my boobs in their push up bra that gave me back fat which I hid with a green zip front hoodie. I looked at my hips that had jeans pulled high over them to divert attention from the muffin top that could creep down at any minute. I had on dark, straight legged jeans to hide my big thighs. Then, it dawned on me. I'm HIDING in my clothes. I am not who I want to be, and I have to do something to change that. So, I put my plain white boring mom bra back on that offers full coverage, but is certainly not pretty. It doesn't give me back boobs either, so that's a plus. I took off my tank top, my hoodie, my push up bra, and got back into my regular clothes. The mom jeans had to stay, because they're the only jeans I've got that fit me right. So here I am in a Grey Tennessee t-shirt, with my white mom bra, my saggy assed mom jeans, and a pair of comfy joe boxer underpants. This is me. This is who I am when Im not hiding in my clothes, trying to be someone I'm not. Hi, It's nice to meet you.

Do I have to look perfect naked? No. Do I ever expect to look good naked again? Well, no...not without the help of a surgeon and a lottery winning husband I don't. Should I feel comfortable enough to throw on a pair of jeans that sit right at the hip where they're meant to, a tshirt that just fits perfectly without a hoodie over or a tank top under? Shoudn't I feel comfortable enough to wear a pair of shorts for the first time in half a decade when it's hot out, rather than wearing dark blue jeans and making everyone stare? Yes, I should. So why don't I?

Life is always throwing me curveballs, and instead of attempting to hit them, I just keep avoiding them all together. My daughter was sick, I was sick, my husband was unemployed, my car was broken into, we live with my father in law, it's too cold, it's too hot, we're too poor, I don't have any friends, any money, any job, anything to my name, bitch bitch bitch bitch BITCH! I'm so tired of making excuses for myself. I'm so tired of telling everyone that I feel great when I don't. I'm tired of lying to myself, and I'm tired of lying to you.

We all have off days, weeks, hell even years. I've met plenty of people who have gone their entire life being big, and spend years losing the weight only to look fabulous. Could I look like that too? Sure I could, if I gave it 110%!! BUT I DONT. I give it 75% at best, and It has to be 100. I am working on changing my life, but it's a slow time consuming process. I'm doing the best that I can, but I need my best to be better. Sure, I'm being a little hard on myself, but let's face the facts here. My daughter is almost two years old, and after your first year postpartum I don't think the old "baby weight" excuse flies quite as easily as it once did.

So, here I am once again.....obsessing. I haven't been able to work out in two weeks. I haven't taken my daughter on a walk, we haven't gone outside. My bronchitis has made it hard to sleep, speak, and even eat. Her tonsillitis has improved, but now she has a cold so I can't even take her outside. I'm obsessing over this. I feel like I can't. I want to so badly, but I feel like I just can't. I need a positive attitude. I need a friend. I need adjusted. I need to help myself. It's time.

This week, I'm going to get better. My daughter is going to get better. We are going to go on walks at least three times a week. We are going to dance around the house when we want. We are GOING to get our asses away from technology for a while, and actually enjoy life. We're going to go to the park. We're going to get more sleep. We're going to eat just a little bit better. And we're going to try our best to have fun while mommy gets her work out in. Because, mommy can't afford to obsess anymore. Mommy needs to change her life for good.

TGIF 312

Last Friday I stated that every Friday I was going to blog about things that make me happy. This Friday that will be especially difficult, because I'm quite honestly miserable. I'm willing to give it a shot though. Ready, Set, Go.

Today, I'm going to tell you about several things that make me happy. Mostly because I feel like shit, and need to remind myself that this is temporary, and there will be things out there that make me smile again. So, without further ado, the number one thing that makes me happy is obviously........my family. I think you all knew that, and it went without saying, so I won't even bother to elaborate.

Happiness number two is a light breeze. I don't know why exactly, but when I feel a light breeze dance across my face, pick up my hair, and whirl it around...well honestly, I've never felt sexier than I do in that moment. I could look like total shit, but as long as that breeze is blowing my hair in the wind, I feel amazing. I can close my eyes, smell the fresh air, and imagine if just for a moment, that I look as beautiful as I feel.

Happiness number three consists of a smell that you either love or don't. There is no in between when it comes to the scent of coffee. I know this sounds strange, but a few years ago I would get up every morning and make coffee. It's strange because I didn't drink it. I simply brewed the coffee so my house would have that delicious aroma. Of course, I don't have my coffee pot anymore, and I did eventually start drinking the stuff. (As long as it was half creamer anyways...)

Happiness Numero 4 is........the smell before it rains. Yes, that smell that so many people hate. I know people who go "Ugh, smells like rain." To me, it smells intoxicating. I love the calm before the storm, far more than I love the storm itself.

The following happiness is number cinco! Cats. Yes, kitties of all shapes, sizes, and varieties. More specifically my old cats Maverick and Roxanna. I miss them dearly. But they still make me smile, even though they're not around. (We had to give them up after 3 years of them having been my babies)

To recap: things that make me happy
1. My family
2. Light breeze
3. The scent of coffee
4. Smell before it rains
5. Cats


These arent the top things that make me happy. In fact, I can thing of several things that make me happier (like not being sick or my daughter actually sleeping) but these were the first 5 things that came to mind.
Sorry this blog is all out of whack, but honestly...Im on a shit load of medicine right now and I can barely hear myself think.

I need to lie down.........
Sarah V.

Six Days

Last Saturday, my daughter and I both got sick. I randomly started to lose my voice and she was up for 3 nights in a row with a fever. I assumed that I had whatever she had. We took her to the Dr where she was diagnosed with tonsillitis. I was a little confused, because I don't have tonsils. I knew I couldn't get "true" tonsillitis without them. After that I sort of assumed I was coming down with laryngitis, or at the very worst a chronic cough.

Five days have passed since last Saturday. I have gotten progressively sicker, and sicker. I decided last night, as I was up all night coughing so hard that I gagged myself and nearly vomited, that I should see a doctor. So, I spent my morning calling around for a walk in clinic. I don't have insurance so usually most actual doctors offices won't see me. I won't even get into how healthcare fails those without insurance. I will just say that today I called a walk in clinic. I will reinforce that once more, a WALK IN CLINIC. I asked them what time they opened and when I could come in. The woman told me they were open from 9 am-6 pm and that I could be seen at any time. Fair enough, I thought to myself. She proceeded to ask me what I needed to be seen for. Of course, I sound like a forty year old male smoker right now, and my voice cracks when I speak. In fact, I barely have a voice at all. So, I smirked to myself and managed to squeak out, "My throat! Heh." Just then the woman on the other end of the line says to me, "Okay ma'am, have we ever seen you here before?" I told her no that we just moved to town. She says, "Okay, that's no problem. So, what kind of insurance do you have?" I hesitated for a moment and said that I didn't have any insurance. I am what the health care system classifies as "Self Pay." Suddenly, her tone changes and I hear the following... "Oh, you know what ma'am, it looks like we're not actually taking any new patients right now." And with that, she hung up.

Does anyone else see what's wrong with this picture? I will give you a hint, read the previous paragraph and search for the large, bold printed letters. Now, read what they say. This walk-in clinic....isn't taking new patients? How is that so? Legally, If I were to have gone in there without calling, I would be required medical care. Would I not? From what I've been told, the state of Tennessee does not allow for anyone to turn you down for medical care based on insurance coverage, race, age, sex, etc. So, how does this walk-in clinic suddenly remember that they can't see me, once they're aware that I'm without insurance? It's bullshit. That's besides the point.

I finally found an "Express Care" clinic in town. They were one out of nine places I called that would actually see me, or still existed. (Way to be out of date Google!) This so called clinic was located inside of a drug store pharmacy. There was one doctor inside of this clinic, and the clinic itself was nothing more than an 8 by 8 room built within the pharmacy.

I wound up sitting in an uncomfortable chair for over an hour waiting to be seen. There were people in front of, behind, and beside me that were as sick as I was. A man behind me wouldn't stop using nasal spray, and I cringed every time I heard it squirt up his nose as he snorted. Ugh...It made my skin crawl. Out of all the people there, I was the second to last to be seen.

When I finally got into the office, the usual things took place. My ears were checked, my sinus was checked, my blood pressure, heart rate, lungs, etc. The doctor looked at me, talked to me, and listened to me for a few minutes. When she finally came to her conclusion I wasn't surprised. It was bronchitis........again. I've had it twice before in the past four or five years, but never with a loss of voice like this. That was the part that threw me off. So, I asked her if it was contagious because I had a husband, an elderly man, and an infant living in my home. This is a fun variety of people that you don't want getting sick. (Side note: My daughter is screaming her head off right now, and it's breaking my heart because I can't touch her.) 

The Doctor, whose name I never caught, gave me an empathetic smile and said, "This is very contagious. I'm afraid you need to avoid contact with anyone for the next 24 hours." I momentarily grinned as I thought that I could have 24 hours free, to myself. Of course, it hit me like a ton of bricks a few seconds later that I don't WANT 24 hours by myself. I hate being away from my daughter! I hate being away from the family! I hate isolation! Most importantly, my daughter needs me and I hate hearing her cries and not being able to go near her. I know it's for the best, but it's so hard. Daddy and I have very different parenting styles. He is a fend for yourself, but I'll be there if you really need me kind of guy. Where as I'm mommy. I'm there when she cries, when she falls, when she fusses, when she slips. I'm a bit more hands on/spoil her rotten, than he is.

I took the receipt she wrote out for her services, and went to get my prescriptions filled. Oh yes, that would be plural. Not one, not two, but three medications for the next six days.The clinic visit plus 3 medications totaled $102.00. (That's actually not bad considered the medications I got, and the clinic alone was $60.)

Say hello to my arsenal of medications. Here, we have horsepills...which are of course fun to take with a sore throat. Then, we have the nastiest syrup I've taken in my life. It's so bad I literally got goosebumps and my skin wouldn't stop crawling for five minutes after I took it. And last but not least, the ever addicting and oh so scary, methylprednisolone. I will be starting off with 6 pills a day, and tapering down to one on the last day. They do this because it's an addictive, habit forming drug. I'm actually terrified of it. I will be taking seven pills tomorrow, plus syrup every 4 hours. I am not looking forward to this. So, just in case anyone ever questions just how sick you can get with bronchitis, I think I am your answer.

Luckily for me, my husband has today off. It is his ONLY day off, and he's takin care of the baby. She refused to nap for him, is teething, and is in a horrible mood. She cries for me non stop, and I feel like a terrible parent for ignoring her cries. I know that if anything happens, daddy will be there for her. It's just hard when you are the primary caregiver every day since birth. I'm the one who is with her while she's sick, teething, crying, hurting, aching, or suffering in any way. I'm the one who gets up with her every single night when she wakes up, and she sleeps with me when she's sick so that she feels comfortable enough to rest. With me being sick, I feel like I'm failing her. I know I can't be super mom, but damn it I want to try. She deserves to have me around when she needs me, even if I'm sick. Fortunately for me, as a good mother I recognize that with her already being sick, and myself also being sick with two separate bugs, we shouldn't be together. It's breaking my heart, but I'm doing my best to get better. I'm about to lie back down, watch some more Law and Order: SVU and rest. The two medications I took today made me drowsy, but I couldn't sleep hearing her cries.

I have also been ordered by the doctor to have hot soups, and hot liquids. No more sprite, no dairy (which I have to avoid per one medicine anyways, alongside sunlight and vitamins) and I have to rest as much as I can without talking. If you know me, you know it's fairly hard for me to keep my mouth shut. So, wish me well...I need to get better soon!


And to end this blog, I will present to you the medications that I'm taking for the next week. Ready?

1.) methylprednisolone 4mg-This is an addictive substance. Use with caution.
SIDE EFFECTS that may occur while you are taking Methylprednisolone (pak) 21 4mg Tablets include dizziness; facial flushing; feeling of whirling motion; headache; or increased sweating. If they continue or are bothersome, check with your doctor. CONTACT YOUR DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY if you experience bloody, black, or tarry stools; changes in body fat; changes in menstrual periods; chest pain; fainting; fever, chills, or sore throat; increased hunger, thirst, or urination; mental or mood changes; muscle pain, weakness, or wasting; seizures; severe nausea or vomiting; slow wound healing; stomach pain; sudden severe dizziness or headache; swelling of feet or legs; tendon, bone, or joint pain; thinning of the skin; unusual bruising or bleeding; unusual skin sensations; unusual weight gain; vision changes or other eye problems; or vomit that looks like coffee grounds. AN ALLERGIC REACTION to Methylprednisolone (pak) 21 4mg Tablets is unlikely, but seek immediate medical attention if it occurs. Symptoms of an allergic reaction include rash; hives; itching; difficulty breathing; tightness in the chest; or swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue. This is not a complete list of all side effects that may occur. If you have questions about side effects, contact your healthcare provider. Call your doctor for medical advice about side effects.

2.) Ciprofloxacin-The warning label reads Caution: AVOID sunlight, vitamins, dairy products, and antacids.
Side effects may include:

• dizziness, fainting, fast or pounding heartbeat;
  
• sudden pain or swelling near your joints (especially in your arm or ankle);
  
• diarrhea that is watery or bloody;
  
• confusion, hallucinations, depression, unusual thoughts or behavior;
  
• seizure (convulsions);
  
• pale or yellowed skin, dark colored urine, fever, weakness;
  
• urinating less than usual or not at all;
  
• easy bruising or bleeding;
  
• numbness, tingling, or unusual pain anywhere in your body;
  
• fever, sore throat, and headache with a severe blistering, peeling, and red skin rash; or
  
• the first sign of any skin rash, no matter how mild.
  

Less serious ciprofloxacin side effects may include:

• nausea, vomiting;
  
• dizziness or drowsiness;
  
• blurred vision;
  
• feeling nervous, anxious, or agitated;
  
• sleep problems (insomnia or nightmares); or
  
• increased sensitivity of the skin to sunlight.
  

3.) Cheratussin AC Syrup-The warning label reads Caution: Taking more of this medication than instructed can cause serious breathing problems. May cause drowsiness, alcohol will intensify this effect. Do not drink or operate heavy machinery.
Side effects include:

• severe dizziness or drowsiness;
  
• confusion, hallucinations, unusual thoughts or behavior;
  
• urinating less than usual or not at all; or
  
• slow heart rate, weak pulse, fainting, weak or shallow breathing.
  

Less serious side effects include:

• dizziness, drowsiness, headache;
  
• warmth, redness, or tingling under your skin;
  
• nausea, vomiting, upset stomach;
  
• constipation; or
  
• skin rash or itching.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Peace, Love, and Terrifying Medications
  Sarah V.